Why I ever owned a hamster as a child is beyond me...
I HATE rodents. Yes, indeed, I had another encounter last night. Except this time it was a rat. A big, black, hairy, jungle rat. There is an air-con unit in my room, because the previous volunteer that lived in our house was a Peace Corps Princess... or so they say... It's mounted on my wall, above my bed, all bulky and dusty...Anyhow- it was never my intention to use the air-conditioning in the first place, i don't even know how to turn it on.
Here's the story:
I wake up to the sound of chewing. I know that sound, loud and clear, I could recognize that sound anywhere. I think I've been scarred for life since the incident with the Saweni mice. The sound was the same, only a louder, a bigger sound (if that even makes sense). At first i thought it was the bats that chill out by my window, I've become accostumed to their squeeling at night, it kind of sounds like they are giving birth....
So when I realize the sound is coming from inside the house, inside my room, right above my bed, i freak out. I throw the sheets off me and turn on the light. yeah. Sure enough, a thick, black rat tail is curled up agianst the wall, sticking out of that old, dusty air-con machine. The rat is still, paralyzed and silent. I think it was trying to get me to think it wasn't there. But it was there all right, black and hairy and big...there was no way i could ignore that thick black tail... uggghhh. i'm getting squeemish just thinking about it. So i look around my room for something, i don't know what, just something to get the rat out of my room, to leave the same way it came from without falling to my bed or ME for that matter. I ran to the kitchen and grabbed the cockroach killing spray... I sprayed the air-con vent and still the rat didn't budge. I sprayed it some more. Nothing. It was as if the rat was laughing at me. So then i got pissed off and with my fly swatter i banged on the vent until the rat crawled out, balanced itself on the wires that connect the air-con to a hole leading outside. A hole. (No wonder i was still getting bit my mosquitoes, even after PWD put mosquito screens on our windows.) So i grabbed duct tape and taped up the hole. That didn't work. As soon as i was falling back asleep, i heard the rat come back. Or maybe i was dreaming it? i didn't care. I tucked my matress in the mosquito net above my bed and hoped to god the rat wouldnt fall on it, using it as a safety net. Why it even enjoys chewing on the wires inside the air con vent? I don't know. But I do know, that if the air-con worked before, it sure as hell doesn't anymore.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Monday, August 28, 2006
One of my closest friends from PST (Pre-Service Training) left about two weeks ago. We call him Toad. His name is Todd, and is absolutely one of the kindest people I've ever met. It's just hit me, how much I miss him, How much I miss getting a random text message from him, or a phone call or a a hug.I remember first meeting him in LA, at orientation at the Renaissance Hotel. We got stuck doing this stpudid ice-breaker excercise together. I remember introducing myself, extending my hand to shake his... And Toad, sweet as he is, said, "I'm a hugger". And that was it, I knew we would be friends.
Toad had it rough from the very beginning. He asked for the chicken meal on Air New Zealand. It was pink, so he didn't eat it, he drank wine instead. And then, when we got to our host families, he got bed bugs. Itchy and swollen and miserable as it was, Toad kept truckin' on through. Giving out hugs and love... It's crazy, but in the short amount of time we had here, we became good friends. We saw each other through good times through not so good times, through really bad no good times at all... We cried and laughed and danced and sat on the beach or at Aji's house drinking grog, me and Toad and Ropate, my boys... and we made a pact that if we ever decided to leave we wouldn't do so without talking to each other first. (that seems like ages ago)
And then he constantly kept getting sick. I could see him losing pounds (or in this case, kilos) every week. I could see him struggling without his girlfriend, who he left back home. I could see him really struggling to keep things together and stay. Even after site visit, even after swearing in.... I remember him calling me in a panic... crying over the phone and not knowing what to do. I knew then, i was losing toad. When it came down to it though, some things are just not worth it, some things just don't feel right, and some things are just too big to give up and risk losing. I even played devils advocate a lot with him and tried to convince him to stay... Toad's heart was just in a different place. So while I lost Toad's presence here in Fiji, I've gained the support of a true friend. It was hard to see him E.T. (Early Terminate) but in the long run I know he's done the right thing for himself.
If you are reading this Toad man: I miss you, we all miss you... Your absence is greatly felt . And i can't believe you didnt leave me your Charlie Brown T-shirt. What's up with that!?
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Thursday, August 10, 2006
It's been a while- so here a couple of posts -from my journal:
July 28, 2006
This was our fisrt day in Lawaki. i think I'm still going through cuiture shock. Fijian Village life is drastically different that living in an Indian Settlement. I didn't meet my "nene" (host mom) until later in the day. I presented my sevusevu to her and her husband. (a sevusevu is a formal way of asking permission to enter a village or family. It is the actual root of yangona, which is used to make grog, or kava, it is wrapped in newspaper and looks all twined up and spiraled. it looks kind of like a gnome head) anyway, my sevusevu went something like this: " Oqo en dua na noqo i sevusevu lailai" Fijian language is a trip! it's so wierd.. but it sounds beautiful when they speak it, especially the women, with their soft voices.... the "q" is pronounced as an "ng" sound the "c" is pronounced "th" as in "that". Very confusing.
There was a fundraiser tonight in the village. All the villagers invited us to drink grog with them. I drank so much grog, more than i've had in one sitting since i've been here. It made me so tired and i was in slooooooooww- motion. I slept like a rock though. The grog hangover is crazy, all you want to do is sleep, and eat, and sleep some more. Went to church on sunday. They attend a methodist church in the village. There is a wooden "lolly" (a drum) that they beat as a bell to come to church. Its really cool... everyone gets dressed in their best clothes, with their bibles and hymn books in hand. I went to church for two hours in the morning and then 2 hours again at night. Dad would be very proud. All in Fijian... it was interesting, the preacher was definately preaching, but the choir was beautiful.
August 3, 2006
Oath of service:
I, Danica Conneely solemnly swear pledge my commitment and support to the people of Fiji, and in the spirit of peace, friendship, and international cooperation that I will do my best to represent my counrty while respecting the traditions, culture and values of Fiji, that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion, and that I will well and faithfully carry out my duties as a Peace Corps Volunteer.
August 8, 2006
Last night was the first time I cooked in our kitchen. We had a bunch of people over (mostly from FRE2 and FRE3). I made pasta with mussels and salad and garlic bread. It was a nice break from all the dalo and boiled fish we've been eating. One of the volunteers even brought some wine! It was comforting to cook and entertain some friends. The first of many dinners to come. The house I live in is big, It's in government quarters so it looks sketchy and institutional from the outside. But we have a yard and apparently an avocado tree (havent seen any avocados yet) and a mango tree that just flowers but doesn't fruit. We are pretty close to the police post and only a 5 minute walk from the University of the South Pacific. Also close to the water, although there is only a sea wall, no beach, The skies are gorgeous here, especially when it's not cloudy out. Can't wait to know my way around the city and not look or feel lost.
August 11, 2006
Suva is good, it rains almost every day which makes it impossible for laundry to dry... i did laundry 3 days ago and they still have not dried. Its all the humidity, I guess. The Public Works Department has been working on our house for the past week and they still have many repairs to do to the house. Most importatly- mosquito screens. It's funny how Fijians break for tea, then an hour to 2 hours lunch and then tea agian... It reminds me of Bolivia and how everything shuts down for two-3 hours at lunch.. siesta!
Night time is the loudest time at the house. The bats here are HUGE. They look like flying dogs without tails. and they squeal really loud too. There are rats living on our roof top, and since it is made of tin, you can hear their claws as they scurry across the rooftop. The most annoying sound of all, however, is waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of mosquitoes buzzing in your ear. Last night I put up a mosquito net around my bed and have had the best night's sleep in a long, long time. I didn't wake up once! and the mosquito net looks really cool too, kind of like a canopy bed, only not as romantic, definatley not romantic.
July 28, 2006
This was our fisrt day in Lawaki. i think I'm still going through cuiture shock. Fijian Village life is drastically different that living in an Indian Settlement. I didn't meet my "nene" (host mom) until later in the day. I presented my sevusevu to her and her husband. (a sevusevu is a formal way of asking permission to enter a village or family. It is the actual root of yangona, which is used to make grog, or kava, it is wrapped in newspaper and looks all twined up and spiraled. it looks kind of like a gnome head) anyway, my sevusevu went something like this: " Oqo en dua na noqo i sevusevu lailai" Fijian language is a trip! it's so wierd.. but it sounds beautiful when they speak it, especially the women, with their soft voices.... the "q" is pronounced as an "ng" sound the "c" is pronounced "th" as in "that". Very confusing.
There was a fundraiser tonight in the village. All the villagers invited us to drink grog with them. I drank so much grog, more than i've had in one sitting since i've been here. It made me so tired and i was in slooooooooww- motion. I slept like a rock though. The grog hangover is crazy, all you want to do is sleep, and eat, and sleep some more. Went to church on sunday. They attend a methodist church in the village. There is a wooden "lolly" (a drum) that they beat as a bell to come to church. Its really cool... everyone gets dressed in their best clothes, with their bibles and hymn books in hand. I went to church for two hours in the morning and then 2 hours again at night. Dad would be very proud. All in Fijian... it was interesting, the preacher was definately preaching, but the choir was beautiful.
August 3, 2006
Oath of service:
I, Danica Conneely solemnly swear pledge my commitment and support to the people of Fiji, and in the spirit of peace, friendship, and international cooperation that I will do my best to represent my counrty while respecting the traditions, culture and values of Fiji, that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion, and that I will well and faithfully carry out my duties as a Peace Corps Volunteer.
August 8, 2006
Last night was the first time I cooked in our kitchen. We had a bunch of people over (mostly from FRE2 and FRE3). I made pasta with mussels and salad and garlic bread. It was a nice break from all the dalo and boiled fish we've been eating. One of the volunteers even brought some wine! It was comforting to cook and entertain some friends. The first of many dinners to come. The house I live in is big, It's in government quarters so it looks sketchy and institutional from the outside. But we have a yard and apparently an avocado tree (havent seen any avocados yet) and a mango tree that just flowers but doesn't fruit. We are pretty close to the police post and only a 5 minute walk from the University of the South Pacific. Also close to the water, although there is only a sea wall, no beach, The skies are gorgeous here, especially when it's not cloudy out. Can't wait to know my way around the city and not look or feel lost.
August 11, 2006
Suva is good, it rains almost every day which makes it impossible for laundry to dry... i did laundry 3 days ago and they still have not dried. Its all the humidity, I guess. The Public Works Department has been working on our house for the past week and they still have many repairs to do to the house. Most importatly- mosquito screens. It's funny how Fijians break for tea, then an hour to 2 hours lunch and then tea agian... It reminds me of Bolivia and how everything shuts down for two-3 hours at lunch.. siesta!
Night time is the loudest time at the house. The bats here are HUGE. They look like flying dogs without tails. and they squeal really loud too. There are rats living on our roof top, and since it is made of tin, you can hear their claws as they scurry across the rooftop. The most annoying sound of all, however, is waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of mosquitoes buzzing in your ear. Last night I put up a mosquito net around my bed and have had the best night's sleep in a long, long time. I didn't wake up once! and the mosquito net looks really cool too, kind of like a canopy bed, only not as romantic, definatley not romantic.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
I had an unexpected visitor in my bed last night. I woke up to an annoying pain coming from my ring finger. It was a sharp pain, like a prick from a needle. I woke up suddenly. I knew right away, I had been bitten by a mouse. I ripped the covers from me and turned on the fluorescent light in my room. Sure enough, a little grey mouse dropped from the inside of my sheets, onto the floor, and scurried away under the bed. At this point my heart is racing and i'm standing frozen, my hand still on the light switch. Disgusting. My eyes wide open and immobile, I stood there a while, contemplating my next move. How could i fall back asleep knowing that a rodent is out to get me, wanting to gnaw on my hands, or any of my extremeties for that matter... where the hell did it even come from?
(And the worst part about the whole thing is this is not my first encounter with a mouse in my room. A couple of weeks ago, before I headed to Suva to visit my site, I packed my bags and had put some chocolate in my backpack, but forgot to zip it up. The next thing you know I wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of a crinckling bag, I thought, ok, a cockroach got in my bag... so as I started to empty the contents of it... a mouse ( the same mouse, i think) comes flying out of my bag! I dropped my stuff and screamed... I think that time the mouse was more afraid of me that i was of it...)
But this little fucker is hidden away all day, living in some dark corner in my room and only comes out when its completely quiet and dark, helping itself to my secret stash of chocolate or my hand. eeewww. I now know the true meaning of "as quiet as a mouse".
I wasn't having it this time. Not only did the mouse bite me, but it woke me up and now it was impossible to fall back asleep. I looked at the clock. 3:00 AM. I was pissed! So I muster up the courage to take my hand off the light switch, and looked under my bed to see if i could spot it. I had an umbrella in one hand and my shoe (ok, yes, my teva) in the other. I was ready to crush its little nasty skull in. But there was no sign of the mouse. The batteries from my torch died so I got back in bed, switched off the light and just laid there, eyes, still wide open, twitching at any miniscule noise or touch on my skin. I really looked like a crackhead, paranoid from every little sound, and lighting my surroundings with the backlight of my cellphone. At this point the dogs outside started barking, the geckos in my room with their loud chirping, the crickets outside my window... And i just laid there, eyes wide open in the dark... 3:30 AM. Another sleepless night in Saweni. Welcome to the frickin jungle.
(And the worst part about the whole thing is this is not my first encounter with a mouse in my room. A couple of weeks ago, before I headed to Suva to visit my site, I packed my bags and had put some chocolate in my backpack, but forgot to zip it up. The next thing you know I wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of a crinckling bag, I thought, ok, a cockroach got in my bag... so as I started to empty the contents of it... a mouse ( the same mouse, i think) comes flying out of my bag! I dropped my stuff and screamed... I think that time the mouse was more afraid of me that i was of it...)
But this little fucker is hidden away all day, living in some dark corner in my room and only comes out when its completely quiet and dark, helping itself to my secret stash of chocolate or my hand. eeewww. I now know the true meaning of "as quiet as a mouse".
I wasn't having it this time. Not only did the mouse bite me, but it woke me up and now it was impossible to fall back asleep. I looked at the clock. 3:00 AM. I was pissed! So I muster up the courage to take my hand off the light switch, and looked under my bed to see if i could spot it. I had an umbrella in one hand and my shoe (ok, yes, my teva) in the other. I was ready to crush its little nasty skull in. But there was no sign of the mouse. The batteries from my torch died so I got back in bed, switched off the light and just laid there, eyes, still wide open, twitching at any miniscule noise or touch on my skin. I really looked like a crackhead, paranoid from every little sound, and lighting my surroundings with the backlight of my cellphone. At this point the dogs outside started barking, the geckos in my room with their loud chirping, the crickets outside my window... And i just laid there, eyes wide open in the dark... 3:30 AM. Another sleepless night in Saweni. Welcome to the frickin jungle.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
I got a nose ring!(side note: now i really look like an Indian girl
and my family can't wait to marry off to an indian man...
uhhh, i think i'll pass on that one , but thanks for the offer!)
View from the bus... Viseisei village
shoes and feet at language class
eating sugarcane under the mango tree in front of host families' home
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
I bought a cell phone in town- so i'm feeling all sorts of anxiety. At first i wanted to be able to detatch myself as much as possible, but the truth is- i need to be or at least feel connected and seing as this internet situation can be random, i decided in case of emergency meltdowns a cellphone was the closest thing i have to be near my family and friends. So here i am, all fancy, a peace corps volunteer with her cellphone and teva's! hahaha.
Anyhow- This past week just flew by. Peace Corps has been keeping us very busy. On Sunday we presented our community mapping project to the community where we have been living. It involved drawing up a map of the settlement, indentifying the most common problem areas, interviewing people from the ministry of health, ministry of eductaion, youth, women, and pretty much every ministry you can imagine.. Here in Fiji they have a ministry for everything. It's actually kind of frustrating because these cases keep getting passed around to each other and they all refer and pass around the same case to each other.
Anyhow- we reported our findings and just recently were able to present to the community where we have been living for the past month. Our group (the ones living in the Hindi settlement) focused on Food and Nutrition, water sanitation, oral and personal hygiene, NCD's, (Non-Communicable Diseases) and STI's, focusing on HIV/AIDS. We had done some research on the number of people living in Saweni that voluntarily went and got tested during this past year.. It was startling to see the numbers of people who have Syphillis, Gonorrhea, and even HIV. the youngest case we saw was a 14 year old boy who had contracted Gonorrhea. The women were shocked to see the numbers of STIs in their communities, they hadnt realized that this could actually happen to them. Since sex is sucha big taboo here in Fiji, it was important to tell the mothers whats going on, i think the most important thing we got out of our presentation was the fact that the women realized that if fourteen year old boys were contacting Gonorrhea, then maybe their own kids were out there having sex. The other issue here is that it is socially acceptable for men to cheat on their wives, so who knows the amount of diseases that they might be spreading to each other. The good news is that we got the women to see the severity of the problem and they voluntarily want to go get tested now. Baby steps, baby steps.
We also had to do a lesson plan for a primary school in a fijian village. I, along with two other girls from my group were assigned to teach about early puberty and the importance of phyiscal fitness. I was in charge of explaining puberty to the girls, they are about 11 years old. I drew up some lovely vagina diagrams and explained the process of menstrauttion and ovulation. They were so attentive and curious and asked questions.. good thing I did my lesson panning and studied up the night before! It's just very interesting to me how their own mothers dont talk to them about the changes that are going on in their bodies. Some girls just simply don't know what it means to have a period. So it was definately rewarding to be able to contriibute in that sense. A couple days after that we taught at a Secondary school, mostly focused on STI's and did more HIV and AIDS awareness. Pretty much beat them over the heads with "dont have sex without condoms" we even did a condom demonstration with a banana. got a lot of laughs from that one, but hopefully it was effective in the end.
Also- had my LPI this week, (language proficiency interview) it was sort of a practice one, and i think i did alright. I am at Novice Medium level. so I am able to ask the time, say hello and goodbye, say my head hurts and most importantly bargain at the market. (ii anaras Bahut mahenga! daam kamti karo!) this pineapple is too expensive, lower the price. :)
So, the most important thing that happened this week: SITE PLACEMENT ANNOUNCEMENTS. It was cool the way they did it, they drew a big map of the islands on the floor with rope and called us each up individually, gave us a certificate that stated where we were going and who we would be working with, and then they walked us to wherever we were on the map. I got Suva! I was kind of hoping for Suva, rather than a random village in the middle of nowhere. But now I"m feeling anxious and a little bit like i don't know if I'll get the Peace Corps expereince that i thought up in my head. Everyone keeps saying how dangerous suva is- but I think that like all cities- it's just more populated and more prone to pickpocketers and looters. I'll have to see for myslef. I will have a roomate. She is FRE-4, (Fiji Re entry, year 4) just like me, except she lives in a fijian village, and I dont really know her that well and she seems like kind of a weenie, but again, we'll just have to see. I was talking to her today and she's already visited the place, She says its nice, a three bedroom apartment ( guest room hint hint come visit) , we have hot water (wow... hot shower, cant wait!) air-con, and an avocado tree in the back. NOt too shabby if you ask me! :) Also- the house is on government compound, the Embassy is near by and it is actually the only PC house in Suva that hasnt been broken into yet. So i feel safe knowing that I will be living in a relatively safe house. I will be working with the National Center for Health Promotion, and guess what? I will be utilizing my skills as a graphic artist! and I thought i was going to be working in health.... how random? I don't have specifics on the Job description, but i had a conversation with a lady from the PC staff and she said that I will be re-designing a lot of the outdated health brochures that are currently handed out at hospitals and health clinics throughout fiji. She also said I will be working with the media??? hmmm. curious and excited about the job. At first i was feeling a little unsure of the assignment, because one of the main reasons I joined PC was because i wasnt sure if I wanted to be a designer forever, but i guess its like my mom says- everything happens for a reason, and this could be a huge step in my carreer, to say that I've developed materials and worked with the National Center for Health Promotion in Fiji! Its funny how things seem to fall into place like that.
We get to visit our sites for a week, and leave on monday. then we come back for three weeks and swear in as volunteers august 3rd! its crazy how time just flies by when you are keeping busy.
Anyhow- This past week just flew by. Peace Corps has been keeping us very busy. On Sunday we presented our community mapping project to the community where we have been living. It involved drawing up a map of the settlement, indentifying the most common problem areas, interviewing people from the ministry of health, ministry of eductaion, youth, women, and pretty much every ministry you can imagine.. Here in Fiji they have a ministry for everything. It's actually kind of frustrating because these cases keep getting passed around to each other and they all refer and pass around the same case to each other.
Anyhow- we reported our findings and just recently were able to present to the community where we have been living for the past month. Our group (the ones living in the Hindi settlement) focused on Food and Nutrition, water sanitation, oral and personal hygiene, NCD's, (Non-Communicable Diseases) and STI's, focusing on HIV/AIDS. We had done some research on the number of people living in Saweni that voluntarily went and got tested during this past year.. It was startling to see the numbers of people who have Syphillis, Gonorrhea, and even HIV. the youngest case we saw was a 14 year old boy who had contracted Gonorrhea. The women were shocked to see the numbers of STIs in their communities, they hadnt realized that this could actually happen to them. Since sex is sucha big taboo here in Fiji, it was important to tell the mothers whats going on, i think the most important thing we got out of our presentation was the fact that the women realized that if fourteen year old boys were contacting Gonorrhea, then maybe their own kids were out there having sex. The other issue here is that it is socially acceptable for men to cheat on their wives, so who knows the amount of diseases that they might be spreading to each other. The good news is that we got the women to see the severity of the problem and they voluntarily want to go get tested now. Baby steps, baby steps.
We also had to do a lesson plan for a primary school in a fijian village. I, along with two other girls from my group were assigned to teach about early puberty and the importance of phyiscal fitness. I was in charge of explaining puberty to the girls, they are about 11 years old. I drew up some lovely vagina diagrams and explained the process of menstrauttion and ovulation. They were so attentive and curious and asked questions.. good thing I did my lesson panning and studied up the night before! It's just very interesting to me how their own mothers dont talk to them about the changes that are going on in their bodies. Some girls just simply don't know what it means to have a period. So it was definately rewarding to be able to contriibute in that sense. A couple days after that we taught at a Secondary school, mostly focused on STI's and did more HIV and AIDS awareness. Pretty much beat them over the heads with "dont have sex without condoms" we even did a condom demonstration with a banana. got a lot of laughs from that one, but hopefully it was effective in the end.
Also- had my LPI this week, (language proficiency interview) it was sort of a practice one, and i think i did alright. I am at Novice Medium level. so I am able to ask the time, say hello and goodbye, say my head hurts and most importantly bargain at the market. (ii anaras Bahut mahenga! daam kamti karo!) this pineapple is too expensive, lower the price. :)
So, the most important thing that happened this week: SITE PLACEMENT ANNOUNCEMENTS. It was cool the way they did it, they drew a big map of the islands on the floor with rope and called us each up individually, gave us a certificate that stated where we were going and who we would be working with, and then they walked us to wherever we were on the map. I got Suva! I was kind of hoping for Suva, rather than a random village in the middle of nowhere. But now I"m feeling anxious and a little bit like i don't know if I'll get the Peace Corps expereince that i thought up in my head. Everyone keeps saying how dangerous suva is- but I think that like all cities- it's just more populated and more prone to pickpocketers and looters. I'll have to see for myslef. I will have a roomate. She is FRE-4, (Fiji Re entry, year 4) just like me, except she lives in a fijian village, and I dont really know her that well and she seems like kind of a weenie, but again, we'll just have to see. I was talking to her today and she's already visited the place, She says its nice, a three bedroom apartment ( guest room hint hint come visit) , we have hot water (wow... hot shower, cant wait!) air-con, and an avocado tree in the back. NOt too shabby if you ask me! :) Also- the house is on government compound, the Embassy is near by and it is actually the only PC house in Suva that hasnt been broken into yet. So i feel safe knowing that I will be living in a relatively safe house. I will be working with the National Center for Health Promotion, and guess what? I will be utilizing my skills as a graphic artist! and I thought i was going to be working in health.... how random? I don't have specifics on the Job description, but i had a conversation with a lady from the PC staff and she said that I will be re-designing a lot of the outdated health brochures that are currently handed out at hospitals and health clinics throughout fiji. She also said I will be working with the media??? hmmm. curious and excited about the job. At first i was feeling a little unsure of the assignment, because one of the main reasons I joined PC was because i wasnt sure if I wanted to be a designer forever, but i guess its like my mom says- everything happens for a reason, and this could be a huge step in my carreer, to say that I've developed materials and worked with the National Center for Health Promotion in Fiji! Its funny how things seem to fall into place like that.
We get to visit our sites for a week, and leave on monday. then we come back for three weeks and swear in as volunteers august 3rd! its crazy how time just flies by when you are keeping busy.
Monday, June 26, 2006
I bought a ghetto blaster to replace my ipod... oh the joy, sweet sweet music in my ears... It's a small am/fm radio that looks like it came right out of the 80's. The good thing is that they play lots and lots of Reggae here and that aint bad.. There's something about islands and Bob Marley and the Eagles.. they love it! and i love them, so it works out great. Fijian music is also not half bad, so in that regard, life is definately better. The pitter patter of mice still resonates in my room, but I've learned to block out the noises so i sleep a lot better now. My encounters with flying cockraoches have also diminished... I think it's too cold for them to come out of whatever dark holes they crawl out of (after all, it is winter here in fiji). So on that note- i'm doing a lot better. Here is a piece of something I wrote in my journal:
June 21, 2006
Today felt like Christmas. Definately one of the best days so far in Saweni. I got 2 letters and a care package. Got a letter and care package from mami. She sent me coffee and sour icebreakers... It's crazy how much meaning little things can have... just to smell the coffee brought me so much joy... and the letter from maru- a 5 page typed letter. It made me so happy to hold it and read it and laugh.. It was as if she was here in person. What a wonderful feeling to receive a tangible piece of mail, there's something about the ritual of opening the envelope, in my case it was more like a kid on christmas, tearing at the paper- hungry to reveal what was inside...
Anyhow- thought i'd share that....
Last weekend we went to Koroyanitu National Park.. up in the mountains. It was great! We spent the night at a place called Abaca Eco Lodge, just east of where we are staying now. The whole Health group went up there, along with our Tech trainer Nani, She is a big jolly Fijian lady, with the most contagious laughter I' have ever had teh pleasure of hearing. She let us bring wine, and we cooked stir fried rice with broccoli and chicken.. (not currified! woooohooo!!) There was no elecrticity up there or running water, but the stars were unbelievable. I sat on the roof of the car with some of my new friends and stared up at the sky and counted shooting stars... Later, we drank kava (or grog or yangona as us "locals" call it :) In the morning we woke up at 6 am and headed out for a hike on a tropical rainforrest trail... I had my tennis shoes packed in Suva, so I hiked in my tevas. yes, I said it, teva's.. I know you're laughing maru- stop it. hahahaha... anyhow- i definately don't recommend hiking in teva's.. i ate dirt a couple of times but it was well worth it. The views were spectacular, tropical forrest, mountains and ocean for miles and miles, I wish i had pictures to show you, i'll upload them soon. After the hike we found a swimming hole, next to a waterfall. The water was freezing but those of you who know me - KNOW that i of course had to jump off the rocks and test the waters out for myself. So that's what i did. I had to work my way up to jumping from the highest rocks, but it was an adrenaline rush and the water- although freezing, felt wonderful after that long two hour hike....
It was by far one of the most memorable days in Fiji thus far.
So yes, I have my bad days here in fiji, At times I get lonely and homesick and just plain sick, but for the most part, I am happy, and i feel blessed to have this opportunity and be able to live out this experience in Fiji of all places.
Someone once said to me- "I hope you find whatever it is you set out to find in Fiji"- The truth is... I don't know what that is exactly, if the reason why I am here is to "find" something, but while reading the other night i encountered this quote by Sabrina Ward Harrison... She says: "I believe we must create what we most need to find". I find such wisdom in that, and hope to stick to my convictions, set up my goals, live my own experiences and whatever comes of that, is good enough for me.
June 21, 2006
Today felt like Christmas. Definately one of the best days so far in Saweni. I got 2 letters and a care package. Got a letter and care package from mami. She sent me coffee and sour icebreakers... It's crazy how much meaning little things can have... just to smell the coffee brought me so much joy... and the letter from maru- a 5 page typed letter. It made me so happy to hold it and read it and laugh.. It was as if she was here in person. What a wonderful feeling to receive a tangible piece of mail, there's something about the ritual of opening the envelope, in my case it was more like a kid on christmas, tearing at the paper- hungry to reveal what was inside...
Anyhow- thought i'd share that....
Last weekend we went to Koroyanitu National Park.. up in the mountains. It was great! We spent the night at a place called Abaca Eco Lodge, just east of where we are staying now. The whole Health group went up there, along with our Tech trainer Nani, She is a big jolly Fijian lady, with the most contagious laughter I' have ever had teh pleasure of hearing. She let us bring wine, and we cooked stir fried rice with broccoli and chicken.. (not currified! woooohooo!!) There was no elecrticity up there or running water, but the stars were unbelievable. I sat on the roof of the car with some of my new friends and stared up at the sky and counted shooting stars... Later, we drank kava (or grog or yangona as us "locals" call it :) In the morning we woke up at 6 am and headed out for a hike on a tropical rainforrest trail... I had my tennis shoes packed in Suva, so I hiked in my tevas. yes, I said it, teva's.. I know you're laughing maru- stop it. hahahaha... anyhow- i definately don't recommend hiking in teva's.. i ate dirt a couple of times but it was well worth it. The views were spectacular, tropical forrest, mountains and ocean for miles and miles, I wish i had pictures to show you, i'll upload them soon. After the hike we found a swimming hole, next to a waterfall. The water was freezing but those of you who know me - KNOW that i of course had to jump off the rocks and test the waters out for myself. So that's what i did. I had to work my way up to jumping from the highest rocks, but it was an adrenaline rush and the water- although freezing, felt wonderful after that long two hour hike....
It was by far one of the most memorable days in Fiji thus far.
So yes, I have my bad days here in fiji, At times I get lonely and homesick and just plain sick, but for the most part, I am happy, and i feel blessed to have this opportunity and be able to live out this experience in Fiji of all places.
Someone once said to me- "I hope you find whatever it is you set out to find in Fiji"- The truth is... I don't know what that is exactly, if the reason why I am here is to "find" something, but while reading the other night i encountered this quote by Sabrina Ward Harrison... She says: "I believe we must create what we most need to find". I find such wisdom in that, and hope to stick to my convictions, set up my goals, live my own experiences and whatever comes of that, is good enough for me.
Friday, June 16, 2006
My ipod broke. I got the little man with the x's for eyes and an exclamation mark. DAMNIT! For those of you who know me well, you can probably picture my reaction when i got the little man of death on my ipod screen. I cried myslef to sleep that night. cheesy, pathetic maybe, but true. Anyhow- it's like my dad says.. I'm down to the basics now... I came into town today to try and find a discman... $160 fijian dollars! hell no, not on a PC salary. So it looks like I'll be drowining in my silence until I can find a small (and cheap) plug in AM/FM radio to listen to... At least they play a lot of reggae/ island music, so i'll be fine for a while.On a different, more important note: I'm starting to get adjusted to my new host family, although sometimes I feel like I'm more of an income-generating project as opposed to "a part of the family". Being in Fiji and living with an Indo-Fijian family is a strange but unique experience. According to my host mom Fijians are to blame for everything. There is so much resentment there, i guess i can understand why, Indo-Fijians make up 45% of the population in Fiji and still, they are not allowed to own land. Even if at one point they owned land, like in Shobna's (my host mom) case- they owned the house and sugarcane plantation around their house for 55 years, but after the coup they had to hand over the land to the fijians and start a lease, in which they pay a monthly stipend to their Fijian landlord. They have a lease for 45 more years. Many Indo-Fijians are emigrating and moving to Australia and New Zealand in search of better lives. Scholarships are also not given to Indo Fijian students and are only available for Fijian students. I went off on a tangent there- anyway.. yes, Shobna always warns me to stay away from the Fijians, and then we have the Fijians who blame the Indo-Fijians for everything. It's a lose-lose situation. I don't take sides, nor would I ever want to. People are people and so far I've met some pretty wonderful individuals here in fiji, despite their race or creed.
We had water safety day yesterday. It was the first time i was in the ocean in Fiji. The water was like bath water. 80 degrees, under the blaring sun... it was so great to be out at sea. We took a boat out into the ocean and swam around for a bit too. The tricky part is trying to get back on the boat when you're way out in the ocean. The water definatley helped my spirits, it was as if i was literally washing away my anxieties and frustrations. I slept like a baby last night. No music to fall asleep to, but had some beers with a couple of volunteers who live nearby, that definately contributed to a great night's sleep.
Today i made brakfast for my host family. Tuna sandwiches and coffee... not much else in the pantry. Shobna, the girls and I went to cut some sugarcane with a machete... Shobna's pretty tough, she was out there whacking away. We sat under the mango tree in front of their house and ate some sugarcane and mangos... yummmm... Tomorrow I'm going fishing with another volunteer and her host family, I'm really looking forward to another day out by the sea.
note: It's really hard to upload photos on these computers. I've been on this computer for two hours now and I was only able to upload the one photo. Still on the lookout for a faster connection.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Internet access is very limited around these parts.... my apologies for not updating sooner,
one seems to have more hours in a day living on an island... or maybe it's just that the days seem longer because things move slower? i feel like my days here are endless, no communication, no tv in english, no way really to pass the time, just do the work and live minute by minute.. I make it sound bad, it really isnt that bad. (except of course for the mice and flying cockroaches and my feet and legs which now resemble bubble wrap because of all the mosquito bites i've been getting)
I'm usually up between 5:30 - 6:00 AM, I help Shobna make Roti, and pack lunches for the girls, which includes roti and curry. then we have language class with a horrible language instructor, Kamlesh, who hasn't really taught us anything, except how to say our names and count to 10. After lunch we meet at a different village which we rotate depending on the day, and meet with the entire health group. we go up until 4-5 sometimes 6 and then it's going home to a cold shower and dinner. curry. That's all we eat, everyday, morning noon and night... curry for breakfast lunch and dinner. Hindu's call everything curry. it's mostly veggies stirfried in some oil and masala powder, or fish curry (which is actually good, except when it comes out of a can.) I never thought i'd say this, but indian food?... not a big fan anymore. Shobna is good about picking up signs though. the other day i mentioned to her how much i miss salads and she came home yesterday with a bag of lettuce, tomatoes and cucumbers... i had salad for dinner last night and salad for lunch today. dressing would have been awesome! nonetheless, it was a good break from curry roti and puri. Anyhow- I'm usually in bed by 9 pm, exhausted from trying to absorb as much information as possible, exhausted from the frustration, miscommunication and heat. Oh, and speaking of frustration- i should mention that the misunderstanding about my room got cleared up, so i now have my own room, no door that closes all the way, but i have my own room now and that makes a huge difference.
We came into town today, the Saweni 6. That's the name i gave myslef and the 5 other volunteers that live in the Indian settlement(Saweni) with me. I needed to stock up on some fruit and other food items other than curry. so I took advantage to update this thing.... I still havent found a place to upload my photos and i'm afraid i won't be able to until we get to suva. (which isn't for another 5 weeks!) but i'm on the lookout for high speed internet.
I'm looking forward to friday, we have water safety day.. woohooo! so it will be the first time i actually get in the ocean in Fiji! very excited about that. and the following week after that we have an Eco-tourism trip, which is an overnight stay with the entire group of volunteers, both health and environment.. that should be fun too. We are now down to 30 volunteers, from the 32 that came to Fiji... scary thought, to think that it could be any one of us, to get fed up, tired, homesick, or whatever the reason may be, reason big enough to want to quit and go home. It's scary to think that i might be next, i doubt it, but you just never know...
anyhow, teh sun is going down and it's starting to get dark. i'm not allowed out of my village after dark, so i must go now, but i'll try to upload photos and write more this weekend. sending you all un abrazo lleno de abrazos to you all.
one seems to have more hours in a day living on an island... or maybe it's just that the days seem longer because things move slower? i feel like my days here are endless, no communication, no tv in english, no way really to pass the time, just do the work and live minute by minute.. I make it sound bad, it really isnt that bad. (except of course for the mice and flying cockroaches and my feet and legs which now resemble bubble wrap because of all the mosquito bites i've been getting)
I'm usually up between 5:30 - 6:00 AM, I help Shobna make Roti, and pack lunches for the girls, which includes roti and curry. then we have language class with a horrible language instructor, Kamlesh, who hasn't really taught us anything, except how to say our names and count to 10. After lunch we meet at a different village which we rotate depending on the day, and meet with the entire health group. we go up until 4-5 sometimes 6 and then it's going home to a cold shower and dinner. curry. That's all we eat, everyday, morning noon and night... curry for breakfast lunch and dinner. Hindu's call everything curry. it's mostly veggies stirfried in some oil and masala powder, or fish curry (which is actually good, except when it comes out of a can.) I never thought i'd say this, but indian food?... not a big fan anymore. Shobna is good about picking up signs though. the other day i mentioned to her how much i miss salads and she came home yesterday with a bag of lettuce, tomatoes and cucumbers... i had salad for dinner last night and salad for lunch today. dressing would have been awesome! nonetheless, it was a good break from curry roti and puri. Anyhow- I'm usually in bed by 9 pm, exhausted from trying to absorb as much information as possible, exhausted from the frustration, miscommunication and heat. Oh, and speaking of frustration- i should mention that the misunderstanding about my room got cleared up, so i now have my own room, no door that closes all the way, but i have my own room now and that makes a huge difference.
We came into town today, the Saweni 6. That's the name i gave myslef and the 5 other volunteers that live in the Indian settlement(Saweni) with me. I needed to stock up on some fruit and other food items other than curry. so I took advantage to update this thing.... I still havent found a place to upload my photos and i'm afraid i won't be able to until we get to suva. (which isn't for another 5 weeks!) but i'm on the lookout for high speed internet.
I'm looking forward to friday, we have water safety day.. woohooo! so it will be the first time i actually get in the ocean in Fiji! very excited about that. and the following week after that we have an Eco-tourism trip, which is an overnight stay with the entire group of volunteers, both health and environment.. that should be fun too. We are now down to 30 volunteers, from the 32 that came to Fiji... scary thought, to think that it could be any one of us, to get fed up, tired, homesick, or whatever the reason may be, reason big enough to want to quit and go home. It's scary to think that i might be next, i doubt it, but you just never know...
anyhow, teh sun is going down and it's starting to get dark. i'm not allowed out of my village after dark, so i must go now, but i'll try to upload photos and write more this weekend. sending you all un abrazo lleno de abrazos to you all.
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Kaunchi means "what?" in Hindi. I've been saying it a lot for the past day and a half.
Yesterday morning we arrived at our host families house. My host family are Roti Indians, the Prasad's. Shobna Prasad, my amma, (means mom) and mi jiji's (means sisters) are Shinal (12), Aju, (9) and Simran (7). Aji, (the grandma) also lives in the house with them. The dad is working as a truck driver in New Zealand and Shobna and the girls plan to join him in a few months.
I must say the experience is overwhelming. First of all, there was sort of a confusion with the housing situation. During orientation they repeated and re-iterated that we would be getting our own rooms, that the rooms would have a door and a lock.
Well.. my experience so far has been quite interesting becuase of this confusion. When i got to the house, Shobna and the girls led me to the room I would be staying in. The room has two beds. Shobna and two of the girls sleep in one bed, and I was to sleep in the other bed. "Is this ok?" Shobna asks.... hmmmm. well, in my head i'm thinking, um, no, this is absolutely not ok, but of course i say, yes, yes, its fine. I don't want to seem rude and ungrateful for their hospitality, but now i am just feeling frustrated about the mishap and when i do bring it up to the PC staff, I don't want to make it seem as if though I was unhappy with my family, or that if PC tells my family something that they would get in trouble for not following protocol, or worst yet, that they would end up giving me Aji's room and that they all cram themselves in the one room next to mine, while i am all spread out all american and alone in my own room. I'm feeling so frustrated about this and i really don't want to have to deal with it, but 10 weeks is a long time and eventually i'm going to need my privacy. I'll bring it up on HUB day on tuesday.
Ok, so back to the experience- I'm sitting on the bed, and they all start bombarding me with questions... how is my family? where do i come from? what is my sign and all of my sisters and brothers signs... do i have a boyfriend? would i marry an indian boy? do i want to try on a sari? Hindi people have no sense of privacy. Shobna changed right in front of me after her shower (-which by the way is freezing cold water- so we take our baths in the afternoon when it's really hot). I had to ask the girls to leave in order for me to change... even when i did, i could hear them behind the door ( the door also does not close all the way) yes, my own room and a door that closes would be nice.) The girls follow me around everywhere, They are beautiful girls, with big black eyes and huge smiles... i'll post pictures next time. They danced in the living room for me, and they played with my camera, were fascinated with my ipod... little simran is especially attached to me. she holds my and and brushes my hair and stares at me while i'm sitting down, she says- you are so beautiful... ahhh. i say no- you are the one that's beautiful... its so cute.
What else? I ate really good fish curry, the girls either stand and eat or sit on the counter and eat. Shobna handed me a plate or baat (rice) and curry and said here, eat. OK... i didn't have a fork, so i didn't start eating.. again she asks.. is this ok? i'm like- yeah, sure.. and then i see the girls start eating with their hands... so i started eating with my hands.. they all laughed at me... I think i'm going to get a lot of laughs during these next 10 weeks. a lot of mistakes to be made and a lot, a lot, to learn. They are taking me to a wedding next week, so it'll be real interesting.. i'm very excited about that. And also- they said they would take me to see saweni beach next week.. which i'm really excited about because so far i havent seen the beach, and i am dying to just stick my feet in the sand.
Today we came into town to go to the movies. The girls and I went to see x-men and shobna and her friend are watching a hindi movie... which explains why i've had the time to write... i think that sitting here writing, has been the most time i've spent alone since i got to the Prasad's house.... ok, so the girls were lingering over me curious as to what i'm writing... so i must go. i'm trying hard to compromise. i'm trying real hard.
Yesterday morning we arrived at our host families house. My host family are Roti Indians, the Prasad's. Shobna Prasad, my amma, (means mom) and mi jiji's (means sisters) are Shinal (12), Aju, (9) and Simran (7). Aji, (the grandma) also lives in the house with them. The dad is working as a truck driver in New Zealand and Shobna and the girls plan to join him in a few months.
I must say the experience is overwhelming. First of all, there was sort of a confusion with the housing situation. During orientation they repeated and re-iterated that we would be getting our own rooms, that the rooms would have a door and a lock.
Well.. my experience so far has been quite interesting becuase of this confusion. When i got to the house, Shobna and the girls led me to the room I would be staying in. The room has two beds. Shobna and two of the girls sleep in one bed, and I was to sleep in the other bed. "Is this ok?" Shobna asks.... hmmmm. well, in my head i'm thinking, um, no, this is absolutely not ok, but of course i say, yes, yes, its fine. I don't want to seem rude and ungrateful for their hospitality, but now i am just feeling frustrated about the mishap and when i do bring it up to the PC staff, I don't want to make it seem as if though I was unhappy with my family, or that if PC tells my family something that they would get in trouble for not following protocol, or worst yet, that they would end up giving me Aji's room and that they all cram themselves in the one room next to mine, while i am all spread out all american and alone in my own room. I'm feeling so frustrated about this and i really don't want to have to deal with it, but 10 weeks is a long time and eventually i'm going to need my privacy. I'll bring it up on HUB day on tuesday.
Ok, so back to the experience- I'm sitting on the bed, and they all start bombarding me with questions... how is my family? where do i come from? what is my sign and all of my sisters and brothers signs... do i have a boyfriend? would i marry an indian boy? do i want to try on a sari? Hindi people have no sense of privacy. Shobna changed right in front of me after her shower (-which by the way is freezing cold water- so we take our baths in the afternoon when it's really hot). I had to ask the girls to leave in order for me to change... even when i did, i could hear them behind the door ( the door also does not close all the way) yes, my own room and a door that closes would be nice.) The girls follow me around everywhere, They are beautiful girls, with big black eyes and huge smiles... i'll post pictures next time. They danced in the living room for me, and they played with my camera, were fascinated with my ipod... little simran is especially attached to me. she holds my and and brushes my hair and stares at me while i'm sitting down, she says- you are so beautiful... ahhh. i say no- you are the one that's beautiful... its so cute.
What else? I ate really good fish curry, the girls either stand and eat or sit on the counter and eat. Shobna handed me a plate or baat (rice) and curry and said here, eat. OK... i didn't have a fork, so i didn't start eating.. again she asks.. is this ok? i'm like- yeah, sure.. and then i see the girls start eating with their hands... so i started eating with my hands.. they all laughed at me... I think i'm going to get a lot of laughs during these next 10 weeks. a lot of mistakes to be made and a lot, a lot, to learn. They are taking me to a wedding next week, so it'll be real interesting.. i'm very excited about that. And also- they said they would take me to see saweni beach next week.. which i'm really excited about because so far i havent seen the beach, and i am dying to just stick my feet in the sand.
Today we came into town to go to the movies. The girls and I went to see x-men and shobna and her friend are watching a hindi movie... which explains why i've had the time to write... i think that sitting here writing, has been the most time i've spent alone since i got to the Prasad's house.... ok, so the girls were lingering over me curious as to what i'm writing... so i must go. i'm trying hard to compromise. i'm trying real hard.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
We arrived in Nadi yesterday morning at 3 AM. We got off the plane to the sounds of Fijian men playing guitar and ukaleleis (spelling?) and singing in Fijian. Even at 3 AM it was so surreal! Oghale, our country director was waiting for us, along with some of the PC staff and even some current volunteers were at the airport to greet us. I couldnt believe it, it was 3 am and the volunteers and staff were all at the airport just there to welcome us. we were all jet lagged, of course, but excited, at least i know i was... still am, i still can't believe i'm here.
so far the days have been jam- packed. Although we only arrived yesterday early morning, we had to be up at and at it at 11 am and ready for meeting after meeting after lecture after introduction... The good thing about Fijians is that they are very laid back, and FRIENDLY! they are alwasy laughing and cracking jokes. it's great. So anyhow- after our meetings and PST (pre service training) orientation we had our first KAVA ceremony! They gave us sulu's to wear around our waists and they welcomed us as trainees. men sit cross legged and women sit with their legs to the side (kind of uncomfortable, it'll definately take some getting used to). There i s absolutely NO talking during the ceremony. They talk in Fijian, which I couldnt uderstand a word of, all i heard was "Peace Corps" interlaced with Fijian that i could not grasp for the life of me.
Matty was right. They do the whole clapping thing. First they offer you the bowl of Kava and you accept by clapping your hands. then you say Bula, and you drink the whole thing... no sipping. then you give the bowl back and clap 3 times. It was a very interesting experience to say the least. The kava tasted kind of strange. definately not like anything i've ever tasted before... it numbs your tongue for a bit, but it was definately not as bad as i had expected it to be, of course i heard from someone that they were easing us into it, and they had diluted the kava so we could drink it... anyhow- there is another long day ahead of us tomorrow, and i must go because i am getting killed by mosquitoes.
so far the days have been jam- packed. Although we only arrived yesterday early morning, we had to be up at and at it at 11 am and ready for meeting after meeting after lecture after introduction... The good thing about Fijians is that they are very laid back, and FRIENDLY! they are alwasy laughing and cracking jokes. it's great. So anyhow- after our meetings and PST (pre service training) orientation we had our first KAVA ceremony! They gave us sulu's to wear around our waists and they welcomed us as trainees. men sit cross legged and women sit with their legs to the side (kind of uncomfortable, it'll definately take some getting used to). There i s absolutely NO talking during the ceremony. They talk in Fijian, which I couldnt uderstand a word of, all i heard was "Peace Corps" interlaced with Fijian that i could not grasp for the life of me.
Matty was right. They do the whole clapping thing. First they offer you the bowl of Kava and you accept by clapping your hands. then you say Bula, and you drink the whole thing... no sipping. then you give the bowl back and clap 3 times. It was a very interesting experience to say the least. The kava tasted kind of strange. definately not like anything i've ever tasted before... it numbs your tongue for a bit, but it was definately not as bad as i had expected it to be, of course i heard from someone that they were easing us into it, and they had diluted the kava so we could drink it... anyhow- there is another long day ahead of us tomorrow, and i must go because i am getting killed by mosquitoes.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
May 18, 2006...
It still hasnt hit me. I've started to pack some of my stuff away.. old photos and concert ticket stubs, cd's and books...i can feel the fear, the anxiety and the sadness of leaving sf start to bubble up inside of me. My casa is quiet and warm, I will miss the comforting feeling it has given me for the past 4 years. So much has happened here. I have lived more here than anywhere else. I learned to be independent here with Jill, when we first moved into our very own apartment. Countless conversations over morning coffee or happy hour, so many movies watched on the pink couch, cuddled under blankets... our sunday walks to the park, sharing smoke breaks on our deck... Then Haley and her undeniable warmness, always with candles burning...so many nights of laughter and playing gin and coming home to fabulous dinners and drinking wine. So many tears dropped, open hearts; shared and exposed... This has also been the Maru hotel- her company on the weekends and hanging with her and ale.. being silly and funny with them has truly brought a new light in my life- a carefree- free spirit energy that has given me wings when i was feeling most down... so many quarrels have also happened- insignificant petty ones, like fights over food spilled, and more significant, scarring ones, like the ones Ivan and i had on the stoop. Ivan and I started and ended our love while living here, even Tim's shadow still lurks behind the shell curtain he bought for me. All of that is coming down, wrapped up and packed away... It is here that I evolved into new ways of being and living... and now, I am ready to leave my nest up by the trees and rooftops, and continue to search for growth outside- of home/ comfort/ myself...I will always remember this as my first home, kind of like a first love, it holds countless conversations over meals; late night gatherings, and dancing in the living room under dim lights. Memories that are etched on the walls and in my heart. This has been my sanctuary, my safe haven, and now i'm leaping into the unkown- although i must admit i am scared, i welcome this new chapter of my life with open arms, open mind, open heart.
It still hasnt hit me. I've started to pack some of my stuff away.. old photos and concert ticket stubs, cd's and books...i can feel the fear, the anxiety and the sadness of leaving sf start to bubble up inside of me. My casa is quiet and warm, I will miss the comforting feeling it has given me for the past 4 years. So much has happened here. I have lived more here than anywhere else. I learned to be independent here with Jill, when we first moved into our very own apartment. Countless conversations over morning coffee or happy hour, so many movies watched on the pink couch, cuddled under blankets... our sunday walks to the park, sharing smoke breaks on our deck... Then Haley and her undeniable warmness, always with candles burning...so many nights of laughter and playing gin and coming home to fabulous dinners and drinking wine. So many tears dropped, open hearts; shared and exposed... This has also been the Maru hotel- her company on the weekends and hanging with her and ale.. being silly and funny with them has truly brought a new light in my life- a carefree- free spirit energy that has given me wings when i was feeling most down... so many quarrels have also happened- insignificant petty ones, like fights over food spilled, and more significant, scarring ones, like the ones Ivan and i had on the stoop. Ivan and I started and ended our love while living here, even Tim's shadow still lurks behind the shell curtain he bought for me. All of that is coming down, wrapped up and packed away... It is here that I evolved into new ways of being and living... and now, I am ready to leave my nest up by the trees and rooftops, and continue to search for growth outside- of home/ comfort/ myself...I will always remember this as my first home, kind of like a first love, it holds countless conversations over meals; late night gatherings, and dancing in the living room under dim lights. Memories that are etched on the walls and in my heart. This has been my sanctuary, my safe haven, and now i'm leaping into the unkown- although i must admit i am scared, i welcome this new chapter of my life with open arms, open mind, open heart.
My Peace Corps Assignment!
Country: Fiji
Program:Community Health Promotion Project
Job Title: Youth Health Education Officer
Dates of Service: August 2006- August 2008
* Please note: The views and opinions expressed in this blog are my own, and do not in any way, represent the views and opinions of Peace Corps or the United States Government.
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