una boliviana en Fiji...

2008-05-13T19:12:00.000-07:00

I wrote this in Savusavu, just days before i left.... It's my last peace corps fiji-related blog entry...

In Fiji, I seem to live my life in extremes. There have been days were I couldn’t possibly desire anything more than to simply be outside at sunset. The light at this time is my favorite part of the day. The air is crisp as the sun is dying down and there is a slight breeze, calling everyone outside. The girls sit on their stoops laughing or singing or gossiping, chewing on ice blocks. The boys are geared up to go play rugby and jog to the field barefoot. It is a time of calmness for me, when the heat off the road is no longer steaming. Pink light fills the sky and makes everything it falls upon seem soft. It sounds crazy, but sometimes it feels like I can taste that air, that light…it feeds my soul, fills me with happiness. I wish I could bottle it up and take it with me wherever I go.

Then there are days where I am at the complete opposite extreme, where I feel stuck and claustrophobic and everything goes wrong. Those days when the clouds trap all the heat, and all of a sudden it starts pouring buckets of rain and I am caught in town without an umbrella. My trip into town is disappointing, there is no mail in my mailbox, I go to the internet café, and there are no emails from home. So I make it down the dirt road, now a messy muddy slippery path, to a meeting I had scheduled weeks in advance only to find out that the person I was to meet with is out of town. I make my way back up the dirt road. My flip flops get stuck in the mud and one of them breaks. I squeeze my toes together and try to walk with my broken shoe as best I can. The last thing I want to get is hookworm. I go to the market wanting to buy eggs for dinner. Of course, “no more eggs, eggs finished” my market lady says. Admitting defeat, I truck it home, covered in mud. All I want to do once I get home is to take a shower and go to bed, but of course, there is no water. They always shut the water off when it rains. So I take a bucket bath and go to bed and because it’s been raining all day, I haven’t been able to sun my mattress, so I toss and turn as the bed bugs feast. I’m itchy. It’s only seven o’clock but I can’t possibly be conscious for another minute of this day. I curse under my breath, take a Benadryl and at some point in the night I fall asleep, surrendered.

Still, as my service is coming to an end, I can’t help but think of all the memories and life lessons that this place has offered me. Of the growth that has happened within me, of the stillness I’ve found in my mind and of the strength I’ve gained throughout. I have learned so much in the space and time of these two years…

I learned that the search for truth is a solitary and individual experience and that change is the only thing that is constant. I have learned to allow myself to move slowly and to give myself time for myself. I have learned to rely on my mind and on my hands and I have learned to give with sensitivity; to give love with no expectations, with no strings attached. I have witnessed kindness and generosity from people who have next to nothing. I have reduced the amount of material things in my life. I have experienced time and stopped moving through it blindly. I have discovered that laughter is universal, the gateway to building friendships... and that i need it every single day.

I have learned to do something of great purpose and to trust myself while in the midst of it. I have gained patience of enormous proportions, and also learned to recognize my limits. Most importantly, I have learned to flex my freedom by taking control of my life and being at peace with myself.

2008-05-13T17:36:00.000-07:00

The KLF expansion launch took place at the end of April in Nausori. It had been my intention to end my service right after the retreat. After all, Kids Link is the only reason I stayed in Fiji as long as I did. I wanted to make sure KLF in Savusavu was sustainable before i left and I was planning on finishing up with a bang, attempting to end my service on a high note. Unfortunately, beaurocracy got in the way... Peace Corps found out that my bags were packed, (even though i was still working at the retreat) and I was forced to leave my kids early, so that Peace Corps could process me and get me out of the country as soon as possible. I asked to stay for one more day, so that I could finish off the retreat with my kids and be there for the launching of the expansion we worked so hard for. After pleading my case with acting (acting being the key word) country director, I was denied and forced to leave my kids and the retreat early. I still don't understand why they wouldnt let me stay for one more day to finish up my project... after all, i had given them hundreds of days of service... Luckily, the office of special services in Washington intervened and I was allowed to attend the KLF expansion Launch before flying home. I am still distraught and drained by the whole experience... I didn't even get a "thank you" from Peace Corps after my two years of service. But regardless of what happened, I'm so thankful for the relationships I built with my kids, my local friends, my Fijian family and fellow volunteers. I'm proud of the work I accomplished and I'm forever endebted to Fiji for giving me one of the best experiences of my life.

Here are some pictures of the retreat...

Pete, Lora, Ateca, Lucy and Pate.. 5 of my favorite kids ever

On our way to the wharf

Care, Eddie and I took our kids on a night out on the town...

Bush kids in the big city....

Group presentation

Awesome public speaking skills by Pate

Cake-cutting ceremony, Launching of KLF!!

Teary-eyed kids... Goodbyes are hard

2008-05-13T16:58:00.000-07:00

More photos from our Earth Day Clean Up...

2008-05-12T14:47:00.000-07:00

KLF expansion: from 0 to 10 to 26... and still counting. I love these kids.

The photo was taken right after our clean up day,
my last group shot with our kids link members.
While we were up on the tree the kids sang "Isa Lei" to me... I was bawling.
See if you can spot me. Where's Waldo?

(*Isa Lei is the Fijian Farewell Song)

2008-05-12T12:15:00.001-07:00

Kids Link Fiji- My last project at site. In collaboration with Save the Children, I started Kids Link Fiji, in October last year. We started with about ten kids. Today there are twenty six active KLF member in our Savusavu branch. We talk about all sorts of things: good qualities, self esteem, role models, we talk about children's rights in Fiji and being active citizens. We've talked about global warming and did our part during Earth hour. We also had a clean up day on Earth Day, and cleaned up Savusavu town. It's not always work though... we play games and journal and do team building activities. KLF Savusavu meets every Saturday from 10 am to noon.

I was fortunate enough to have Edwina, my best friend is Savusavu.
Eddie helped me with the kids on Saturdays and now facilitates KLF Savusavu.

The kids are eager to answer questions here because I was giving out chocolates in exchange for right answers. How long does it take for a diaper to decompose?

This is one of the kids' favorite games: Bring home the bacon

The kids are working on posters for Earth Day

Good qualities workshop. This is back in November when we first started.
There were only about ten KLF members at the time.

Cleaning up the town on Earth Day.

2008-04-17T20:08:00.000-07:00

This was just the other day, my family stopped by my house for a visit, and i had to film this.
They are such a musical family... look at that baby go!

2008-03-24T17:26:00.000-07:00

Almost two months of being away, I’m back to the humidity and the moldy jungle. My house wasn’t as bad as I expected to find it. Of course there was that mildew smell permeating the walls, and a thick film of grimy dust covered the floor, and spider webs had taken up residence in every corner of every room, but upon my return, I was thrilled to see only two dead cockroaches on my floor. The bad news is a mouse moved into my kitchen and I can’t seem to get it out. I was going to buy a mouse trap, but I couldn’t decide which one to get, the one that snaps, (like in the cartoons) or the ones that have a sticky surface which super-glues the mouse’s feet onto it. I have bad, bad, bad visuals of both. I can’t decide what’s worse, having to clean up dead mouse guts and blood splatter from the mouse trap or have to remove a live squealing, screeching, struggling mouse with its little paws super-glued to a little cardboard surface. Um… neither. So now, in addition to my daily cleaning up of gecko poop off my kitchen counter before I have my coffee, I have to clean the mouse poop as well. In response to my mouse problem Fijians simply say, “What you need is one pussy.” A pussy cat, that is….

I visited my beautiful Fijian family yesterday. The kids ran out to greet me, yelling out my name, climbing up my legs and hugging me tight. “Danica! Danica! Danica’s here!” It was a wonderful welcome. Lucy, their mama just hugged me tight and sniffed me. “Oi le, Danica! us gang, we think you never coming back!” I had a huge duffel bag full of stuff for them. Toys for the kids, gifts from my mom to them, clothes, shoes… stuff to make s’mores. I had been promising the kids I’d show them how to make s’mores for the longest time. They had seen a cartoon once with kids roasting marshmallows and were so mystified by this… I don’t think the kids had ever seen so many toys at once. (thank you to my sister taco, and her first grade class at Paul Revere who donated them!) They were quiet and concentrated in amazement, and I was happy just watching their expressions. I played with the baby who hated the vibrating stuffed animal I got him, but really loved the box it came in. Then we went out and Nem, their father built us a bond fire and there we were, my Fijian family and me, roasting marshmallows to make s’mores. It felt good to see them again, to witness their innocence and sheer joy of taking part in something as simple as roasting marshmallows. I hugged the kids goodbye and they said thank you and hung themselves around my neck. I’m not entirely sure, but I think I may have scabies. My body is itchy… my ankles, my elbows especially. I noticed some open scabs on the kids as they held my hand and hugged me, what was I to do? Not hug them back? Scabies…greaaaat.

Happy, happy kids

2008-01-11T15:58:00.000-08:00

a photo shoot with my two favorite island babies: Lele and my namesake.

2008-01-03T17:09:00.000-08:00

Peace Corps Holidays in Fiji...

In Fiji, you can tell the holidays are nearing by the smell of gardenias in the air. There is no snow, no wind, (or breeze for that matter) but there is a lot of muggy rain. It is very hot in Fiji this time of year. So hot, in fact, that the candles melt without fire.

But it is also a time for fun friends and plenty of laughter...

and lots of cooking going on in the kitchen...

and silly puppet shows by jone

and friends you can count on to fall asleep and be the 'butt' of all jokes

Hope your Holidays were filled with love and laughter...

2007-12-07T17:21:00.000-08:00

We had a tropical cyclone scare yesterday. It started with a lot of rain, and people in town were stocking up on their emergency supplies of tuna and candles. People had started tying down loose boards and covering their windows with sheet metal or plastic, anything they could find. Peace Corps consolidated all the volunteers, and for a while there it was pretty scary, as the winds picked up and the lights went out and weather guy on the radio kept repeating "DO NOT leave your house, Hurricane Daman is expected to hit Savusavu directly...."

This is what the news said:

"A destructive category four cyclone with winds gusting up to 275km/h is barrelling towards Fiji, sparking the evacuation of tourists and some flight cancellations.

Cyclone Daman has rapidly strengthened from the lowest category one to a "top end category four" storm, with an average wind speed of 195km/h.

Vanua Levu, Fiji's second largest island with a population of about 360,000, is expected to begin to feel Daman's full force about midnight (2300 AEDT Friday) when it makes landfall."

But the cyclone took a swing to the northeast and dodged us completely, and so we were left, excited pcv's drinking wine by candle light on the floor of my house... releived, yes, but I'm not going to lie...a little bummed that we didnt get in on any of the action.

2007-11-01T17:54:00.000-07:00

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

2007-10-21T19:07:00.000-07:00

After the fourth HIV / AIDS presentation of the year, 5 of my students came up to me and asked if I could arrange an appointment for them to get tested. A huge accomplishment!

2007-10-02T17:40:00.000-07:00

What is it about turning 26?

It’s not so much the number. 26. It’s the fact that 26 is so much closer to 30. I’m not afraid of turning 30. Trust me, I’m not one of those women who studies her wrinkles in the mirror and freaks out to find that she has acquired 3 new sun spots…I like to call them freckles. Looking back at 24, I am not at all where I thought I would be at 26, but I am exactly where I need to be today.

So what is it about 26? Maybe it’s that 25 was such a good year for me, it’s going to be hard to top. But as I was thinking about turning a year older and having lived the past year of my life to the point of tears, I couldn’t help but smile and be grateful that I am here living my life, raw.

With my freckles and dirty hair, my bucket baths and mosquito net, my round Latina body that doesn’t seem to want to go away, my flip flops in the rain, and the sweat on my brow, I am off to another day in my 26 year old life.

Some quotes on growing older by a woman I read and admire so often…

“Why in this civilization do we value the woman who ‘stays young’? Why ‘stay young’ when adventure lies in change and growth?”

“I feel it in myself…I am definitely much older than I was a year ago, and I rather like it. There’s less pressure.”

May Sarton

2007-08-29T17:26:00.000-07:00

2007-08-29T16:44:00.000-07:00

Eleven hours, eight suitcases, and a whole lot of ocean later, my family arrived at Nadi International Airport. I jumped up and down with excitement as they made their way past security, cranky and jet-lagged but having successfully smuggled in blocks of cheese. Now, that is love…

After packing and unpacking suitcases in the middle of the airport, (we left most of them in storage) my mom occasionally holding something up and saying with a huge smile, “I brought you this, or I brought you that”. My dad asking over and over, “Has anyone seen my blue shorts, hey have you seen my blue shorts? Blue shorts?” My sisters annoyed and jet-lagged and rolling their eyes… It felt so familiar and loud and chaotic and I couldn’t help but smile and think, yes. Finally, mi familia had arrived.

We got on the minibus I hired (complete with plastic seat coverings, cheesy dashboard décor and Lucky Dube blasting on the radio) and headed towards our adventure. Here are some highlights:

Visiting Aji in Saweni

Eating coconuts at Nananu I Ra, and swimming in the ocean at sunrise

Telefunken and girly drinks at The Pearl

Getting pulled over by LTA

Mana Island…Taco’s birthday, massages on the beach, crystal clear water, banana boat rides, lounging by the infinity pool, gorgeous sunsets and ridiculously expensive food

Visiting my Fijian family, taking turns holding the fat squishy baby and jam sessions with the kids (nobody wanna see us together cuz like like you)

Cold lovo at my counterparts house

Meke dancing and grog drinking at Vivili village

Daddy’s happy feet

Taveuni trip with Taco & Case…

Rastafarian captain on the dinky blue boat, beachfront cottage at coconut grove, Raj. Coastal Hiking at Lavena, swimming under waterfalls, garlic shrimp, and tripod at Tovutovu.

And so they came and they went, but they are here, both tangibly and intangibly. They are out in the hammock that now hangs out on my porch, and in my home that no longer smells of mildew, but of febreeze and candles, they are here in Savusavu and in all the places we explored together. They were here when I had quinoa for dinner last night, they’ll be here every time I have cold lovo…

I think that of all the people in the world, they alone could acknowledge exactly what I’m trying to create here. They alone know me to my core and know the things I’ve set out to accomplish from the beginning. And now that they’ve been here they alone can truly understand all that I am becoming.

Familia- I feel so blessed that I was able to share this experience with you…that you were able to see my projects, my life, in this, my new home. And although- as you were able to experience- Fiji does have ways to (literally) get under your skin, I hope that you’ve found a little more peace, knowing and seeing that I am doing just fine. Vinaka vaka levu familia, for everything. For hauling all those suitcases and bringing me things that make me happy and a little more comfortable, for crossing an entire ocean to get to me on your vacation, and for all those incredible memories to add on to our book of journeys.

Y pa’ los que todavia no llegaron... (Chulin, Mario, Nat y Luke…hint hint)

I’ll be waiting always con brazos abiertos…

2007-07-25T16:37:00.000-07:00

Wow, I guess I haven’t updated this thing in quite some time. And the truth is so much has happened in the past two months, I don’t even know where to begin… In a nut shell, one of my best good peace corps friends, Ropate went home, so that was hard…My yaca (namesake) was born.. same last name and everything! I moved houses again. (3^rd time’s a charm!) I started a garden, my youth group is growing and we are actually talking about serious, important issues, I finished the World Map Mural Project at St.Andrews Primary… Here are some photos to show you what’s been happening. Life has been crazy, but my family arrives next week! It’s time to wind down, go pick them up and take a vacation. 4 more days familia!!!!

Ropate goes home...

and it rained a lot and the water turned brown....

and my youth group is doing awesome...

and they are thinking of ways to help their communities....

and we're talking about things that are affecting the youth in Savusavu

and my namesake was born...

and I still drink a lot of grog....

and more squishy babies were born...

and i moved into a new house with an awesome porch!...

and the WMMP is finished.

and the kids did so well...

and i love my students....

and isa Ropate, I miss you!

2007-07-25T16:23:00.000-07:00

I find so much happiness in having dry paint on my hands and in between my fingernails. I think every piece of clothing I own is stained or ripped and I love that I couldn’t care less. I guess maybe I am turning into a crunchy Peace Corps hippie after all…

I feel a sense of sadness, to be done with the world map project I’ve been working on with class 7 at St. Andrews Primary School. It’s been a while since I’ve felt such a strong sense of accomplishment. Maybe it’s because the World Map Mural is something tangible, or maybe it’s because everyone I worked with on this project has been so receptive and committed and grateful. It’s amazing to see how much the kids have learned in such a short amount of time. They truly are sponges, and it’s so great to see the pride they take in the work they have done, how eager they are to yell out the right answers when I ask them questions about the 7 continents. The truth is I’ve also learned so much from this project… I mean, I didn’t know where the hell Georgia, the country, was before I did this project, much less what its capital was. But I’ve also learned to be more patient, to find pleasure in letting the students carry out the work, to give direction but allow for their own artistic freedom, to give them the opportunity to think critically, to challenge them to own their answers, even if they are wrong…When we first started this project, and I asked them a question, they would blurt out an answer and immediately cover their mouth and shrink down in their chairs in shame, whether the answer was right or wrong… I said they were not allowed to cover their mouths after responding to a question. That it was ok to say the wrong answer, that it was a good opportunity to learn the right one. It has been amazing to see their confidence grow. From a bunch of shy kids afraid to speak up in class, afraid to hold a paintbrush for fear of making a mistake, now they all raise their hands, their eyes open wide and bright as they yell out eager to share their answers… “Madam, I know! I know!” (yes, they call me madam J)

I had the kids place their handprints on the wall under the map and sign their name on each of their hands. I told them that when they grow older and come back to the library they will be able to see how much they have grown when they compare the size of their hands, but also that they will look back and remember that they have done this together, with their own hands.

Today was my last day at St. Andrews Primary. The world map is now completed. We played jeopardy as our last activity and had classes 5, 6 and 8 as our audience. I had some prizes donated from some local stores and included some sector nine stickers (Thanks Kata!) some Bic pens (Vinaka Ropate!) and tied them up nicely with some ribbons my sister Nat sent me. (gracias Nata!) [Presentation is key] We even had judges, a score keeper and a bell! After the game, we all went upstairs to their classroom and had some tea and pastries. They gave me some presents and a thank you card…I was so touched. And as if that wasn’t enough, one of my students, Pate, read me a poem he had written, Noa, another one of my students started crying… goodbye’s are hard. Needless to say, I was a mess!

World Map Mural Project May, 2007

completed World Map Mural July, 2007

Jeopardy

Happy kids

Vinaka to all those who donated prizes!

2007-05-23T19:37:00.000-07:00

What goes up must come down. Sometimes I go home feeling defeated. Sometimes I think I think the people I work with don’t really want to be helped. Sometimes I think it’s my fault for taking on a project that I seem to be more interested in than they are. Sometimes I feel like I’ve dropped the ball and I just want to go home.

May 29^th marks the day I left the U.S. I’ve been living here for a year now. Man, time flies. But while it does seem like this past year has flown by, it also seems like forever ago that I arrived and the thought of another year is hard to grasp. I don’t know if that makes any sense at all. I feel as though I’ve lived so much, and maybe that’s why it seems like I’ve been here for so long. Work-wise, I don’t feel as though I’ve accomplished much, at least not as much as I thought I would have gotten done in one year. I’m not really worried about that, they say most volunteers get most of their work done during the second year of service. But living, I feel as though I’ve lived more in the past year than I ever have. Maybe it feels like I’ve lived more because this kind of living has so much more to do with surviving. And I’m not talking about surviving in the TV show ‘Survivor’ kind of way. I mean surviving in terms of hanging on to the commitment of being a volunteer, in terms of facing obstacles in work and in day to day life and in overcoming solitude and home-sickness. Some days I want to give up, sometimes I just want to hang out with my sisters and my friends and hug my mom. Sometimes I want to eat a real meal, with vegetables or be cozy in my socks and sip on a crisp glass of pinot noir. Sometimes we run out of water, sometimes there are a ton of mosquitoes and dengue fever alerts, sometimes I get sick and feel miserable, unable to distinguish a fever with just being hot and sweaty. Sometimes the roosters crow in an unstoppable never-ending chain at any particular hour of the day, which in turn sets the dogs barking, which in turn, leads the babies to cry and then the angry mothers yelling, the neighbor gagging himself with his toothbrush, the “Bollywood” movies blasting…

But sometimes, just sometimes, I get those days where the light is perfect and purple as I am walking home, or when I get an invitation to dinner while I’m jogging, or randomly get asked to come in for a bilo of grog, or when I’m asked to hold a newborn baby, or when my students smile and joke around dancing in class. These are the moments that I wait for, the moments when I understand and value why I am here. Yes, it’s hard at times, most times, lately. But the overall struggle is worth it, at least so far.

2007-04-30T17:31:00.000-07:00

The past few weeks have been eventful, which is very unusual for Fiji. I’ve been keeping myself busy with class and preparing for fundraising events. Also- had a ‘professional exchange’ on AIDS/HIV and STI awareness with Rob, my best good Peace Corps friend. He was visiting with his lovely family from Rhode Island and I got the opportunity to meet them all and listen to their awesome accent. I love to hear them say words like: idea = “idear”, apart = “apaht”, Danica = “Dawnica”. It reminds me of Jill and her mom, “Hey Dawni, I lawve youwah apahtment. Get in tha fuckin cawh!” Translation: “Hey Dani, I love your apartment, get in the fucking car!” Hahahaha. Oh, the good old days.

Anyhow, our first fundraising event for Earth Day went really well, despite the unrelenting rain and getting shafted by town council. Town Council gave us a shed behind the market and away from the main road and therefore hidden from view… I felt like we had been ostracized from society! It’s a shame too because we had our environment friendly art projects made out of recycled materials on display. But after an hour of just hoping that someone would walk by our shed, we took it to the streets! We packed up all our greeting cards and went on a mission to sell them all. I made Taki, one of my students, wear a sign with the recycling arrows on it. He was walking barefoot through town yelling at the top pf his lungs “REDUCE! RE-USE! RECYCLE!” It was hilarious! Needless to say, Taki attracted a lot of attention and we used that to our full advantage, selling as many cards as we could. I don’t think my students realized they could actually make money by selling these greeting cards. They were so surprised when I tallied up the amount of cards we sold and showed them the grand total they made on their very first day. Yesterday we made a list of the things they want to see improved or changed with the money we make. The first things on their list were: a brush cutter (they cut their grass with machetes, arduous work!) and new desks for the classroom. It just made me appreciate the comforts I was granted while growing up, like having a desk with a smooth surface to write on… it’s the little things we take for granted.

We have two fundraisers this week before the end of the term, so hopefully we will double our profit and be able to get started on achieving their needs. And after that, a two week vacation!

This is Ropate presenting to my students ...
"And this foamy secretion in and around the penis area is called..."

Learning how to put on a condom...

Earth day.
"There's a kaivalagi! Go get em!"

These are Wati and Suli.
They made an ibe (a Fijian mat) from wrappers

This is Taki.
The curtain behind him is made out of beer bottle caps.

Superman!

Vaka Cegu.

2007-04-16T17:14:00.000-07:00

Here are some photos from my class
NAQELEKULA

wood burning bread oven.

Suli Making paper

Wati rolling out moisture from our paper

Stencilling with banana leaves

2007-04-02T15:13:00.000-07:00

“Life comes in clusters. Clusters of solitude, then a cluster when there is hardly time to breathe.” – May Sarton

Well, honeymoon in Savusavu is over. I am officially a local. I try to avoid going into town as much as possible, but when I do, it is impossible not to run into people I know or have met at least once. On market day, I buy my vegetables from my regular market lady (caserita), except my fruit, that I get from the cutest little old man who occasionally gives me an extra papaya or a throws in a couple extra bananas… The people at the bread shop who give me the usual, one loaf of medium whole meal and one banana muffin.

I have stopped romanticizing about the beauty of this place. I mean, don’t get me wrong, Savusavu is beautiful, but living here…and living as a local, let me tell you, it is hardly paradise. The water goes out when it rains, [not that I’m complaining, at least I have running water most of the time]. My clothes smell like mildew because of this damn rain too… This time of year, it never stays sunny long enough to hang out clothes to dry…. And the bugs, don’t even get me started on the bugs. I have managed to get a weird tropical fungus thing that comes and goes as it pleases…

Which by the way, my students are… well, they are the reason my head hurts, my feet ache and the reason why I can’t wait to go back tomorrow. I have been working with ‘Naqelekula’, a Methodist boarding school that was developed for school dropouts. The mission of the school is to promote youth development through pastoral, technical, and vocational training. Most of the students who attend the school are kids ranging from ages 16-25. It’s funny even calling them kids, some of them are my age and yet they still call me madam. They’ll say… “Good afternoon madam”, “yes madam”, “no madam”. It used to make me kind of uncomfortable, but then again, comfortable isn’t exactly how I would describe most situations in this experience thus far.

Before I arrived, the students focused on farming and baking as a means of earning money to keep the school running. As an alternative way of making money, I have introduced an income-generating project that involves making greeting cards and bookmarks with local designs. It’s hard working with little to no materials, but we work with what we have until we are able to make enough money to purchase materials and then really kick ass. I have taught them how to make recycled paper and I am teaching them basic printmaking methods, mostly stenciling from whatever materials we can get our hands on… banana stems, paper, even used x-ray film that mysteriously made its way to our classroom from the hospital (this one works best).

One day I was talking to the students about the importance of recycling and explaining to them how long it takes for materials to decompose and thought to myself, why not make art from garbage? There’s plenty of it everywhere, so why not use it and have a small exhibit in town to raise awareness for the environment and at the same time use this day as an excuse to sell our greeting cards and bookmarks made from recycled paper? Environment Day happens to fall on the very same day as Youth Day, April 22nd. My students and I have been busy making art projects out of rubbish, paper and bookmarks and cards, cards, cards… and in between, I’ve been writing letters, proposals, all the not so fun stuff to raise money for my class. I’m working harder as a volunteer than I ever did when I was actually getting paid!

And so, I hope you understand the reason for my delay in updating you all on what’s happening on this end of the world. (Even though most of you are past due on your letters to me!) Besides the Cyclone warning and the flash floods and teh skin conditions, not much new around here… except I’m reading this really great book, it’s called “The Poisonwood Bible” by Barbara Kingsolver. It’s a really great read, about an evangelical Baptist who takes his family to the Congo on his mission during the 50’s. I highly recommend it, daddy- especially you, I think you’d get a kick out of it, and I don’t want to hear: “I never have time to read…” Give yourself some time for you, take a load off annie!

2007-02-21T16:30:00.000-08:00

Walking Home

Tropical Depression

Just another Fijian Sunset

Gas Station

This one's for Kata....

Fishing

2007-02-21T16:13:00.000-08:00

My first Visitor!

Some Highlights of Jayson’s trip…

1.) Spear Fishing in Nananu I Ra

2.) Suki and grog session with Jaile and gang

3.) Samoan warrior dancing at ‘the zone’

4.) Mango Bay African Safari Tent #3

5.) Broke-down mini bus ride to Sigatoka

6.) 16 seater Pac. Sun Airplane during a tropical storm

7.) Kokonda and plenty wine at Bula Re

8.) Fijian Night club experience & “taki na bia”

9.) Piggy back rides across the flooded streets

10.) Rain baths

Jaysoni my friend… Thank you. For hauling that giant suitcase from home, for taking it all in stride, for spoiling me on your vacation, for all the incredible meals that I could never afford and the many bottles of wine to accompany them. Thank you for bringing me breakfast when I was hung-over, for letting me kick your ass at cards, for simply sitting, -here or there-, for your company, for all the laughs, and memories built… for all the love and friendship in your heart.

Vinaka Vaka Levu!

2007-01-24T20:34:00.000-08:00

Some photos from Savusavu

spear fishing

view from a yacthie's boat at dusk

Exterior of church

Church at St. Bedes. Built in 1800's

Boys going for a swim

2007-01-08T19:10:00.000-08:00

I know these are long overdue, but I've finally found an internet connection fast enough to allow me to upload photos. Like I said, the past three months have been a trip... so here are a few images to document a bit of where I've been roaming in Fiji, including some of Savusavu, my new home.... enjoy.

Sunset, Nananu-i-ra

On a boat with ropate in the South Pacific

Nananu-i-ra

Kelly decorating our x-mas tree. Nananu-i-ra

dusk, Nananu-i-ra

Nananu-i-ra

Somewhere in the sky...

On the road, Naiserelagi

Molly's house, Naiserelagi Village

captain's cafe with carrie, Savusavu

Bus stand, Savusavu

view of the bay, Savusavu

Nabala Village

2007-01-03T17:03:00.000-08:00

The last 3 months have been quite an adventure. Ever since the burglary incident in Suva, I've been on the move, looking for a site to live in, where there is work to be done. I finally moved to Savusavu, a sleepy bay town, where a bunch of yachties stop in to dock their boats. But the move here hasn't been easy. There's been a lot of persistence on my part, a lot of ups and downs, a lot of searching around and failing and moving around the main island to the north... needless to say, Its been a trip!

It feels good to have a place to call home for the next 19 months, even though my new indian neighbors are SO bloody loud! i constantly hear now , the playing of the loudest bollywood music, crying babies, mothers yelling and the father' gagging himself with his toothbrush at night. But all of these I can handle. It's the damn chickens/ roosters that drive me insane! They start cock-a doodle-doing at 2 AM. What the hell!!!??? I thought they only crowed in the morning! But last night, they woke me up at two am. And they sit right outside my window, They went off like perfectly synchronized alarms... first at 2 am, then at 3:00 , then at 4:00 am... (How the hell am I ever going to get any sleep? ) Finally, at 4:00 am I got up and i was SO pissed off I actually yelled at the roosters. SHUT THE HELL UP!!!! then I lay back in bed and thought to myself.. Did I really just yell at the roosters? I did. And they didn't care, they kept on cock a doodle doing all they wanted. I had a dream in the little fragments of sleep i got between each alarm went off... I actually had a dream that I was trying to kill the chickens. First I threw the tops of tuna cans at them, slinging them at the chickens like ninja stars... then I had a shotgun, but it had no bullets, still I was aiming for the chickens and kept pulling the trigger... Then I woke up again to their annoying sound. Finally, at around 6 am... i got up, pissed off as hell and threw a coconut at them. I actually hit one! and they scattered. I was all proud of myself, i went back to bed feeling like... ok, now i can finally get some sleep... but as soon as i closed my eyes.. they were back at my window... claiming their revenge and squealing at he top of their lungs... yes, I've arrived, I'm finally home.

2006-12-09T19:10:00.000-08:00

A bumpy one hour bus ride from Labasa... I arrived in Nabala on Friday afternoon. My friend Carrie is teaching computers at a boarding school in the Macuata province called Nabala Junior Secondary School. It is Summer break here, so the kids are all gone and the village is very quiet. It's very peaceful and HOT. Yesterday we went out for a swim in the ocean with some of Care's good friends.. Uncle Dan and his wife Lucia were kind enough to take us out on their boat. It was beautiful, we snorkeled around the boat, and i saw a blue starfish for the first time in my life! The way back was a little tricky, as we had to walk back through the mangroves and mud. There was no way to do it with flips either because they would surely get lost in the mud.. so we walked barefoot and hoped not to get any cuts and therefore be prone to getting hook worm. that would suck.... but so far, so good...

I will be here until the end of the week, if things calm down, I'll go back to Suva on Viti Levu, and go up north to the Ra province, Nokonoko, my second option for a potential site. I'm excited about village life. Just three days here in Care's village, and i'm adapting quite well, drinking grog and playing cards and walking around with muddy feet.. I could get used to this, walking around in sulu's and not shaving.. I havent even looked at myself in a mirror since I arrived. It's actually quite a freeing experience. ( And no, don't worry I havent become a hairy hippie... at least not just yet. haha!:)

Ok so here's the latest news on the military situation...
I don't get any cell phone reception in Nabala, but they have a computer lab at the school here and WIRELESS internet!!! It's crazy! So we have been able to follow up on the news, which is great.
The US said that they were suspending aid from Fiji... and right now it looks like PCVs are the last volunteers still at their sites. Jica, Koica, Aussie Youth Embassadors and NZ volunteers have all been consolidated. But for now, we are on standfast (which means we are on alert and cannot leave our sites). Hopefully they will lift this alert by the end of the week so that I can travel and find myself a site...

The news below is from fijilive.com

Soldiers hunt down coup opposition
Sunday December 10, 2006
Fiji's military continued a crackdown on opposition to its coup on Saturday, as deposed Prime Minister Laisenia Qarase said he would return to the capital next week to seek a peaceful restoration of democracy. Fijians were warned on Saturday that if they spoke out against the military they would be summonsed to Queen Elizabeth Barracks in Suva and, if they refused, forcibly taken there. "The military wants this transition to be smooth," said military spokesman Major Neumi Leweni in issuing the warning. Commander Bainimarama staged a bloodless coup on Tuesday, toppling Qarase's government, which he claimed was corrupt and soft on those behind the last coup, in 2000. Fiji has had four coups since 1987. Opposition to the coup is growing, with the Great Council of Chiefs and churches calling it illegal. Several prominent Fijians have already been taken to the capital's barracks and been ordered not to make further comments, while Fiji's human rights commission said it was investigating reports of "inhumane treatment" of one person detained. Fiji-born millionaire Ballu Khan had his office ransacked by the military and his bodyguards taken in for questioning. Former government minister and unionist Kenneth Zinck was allegedly taken to Queen Elizabeth Barracks after publicly calling Commodore Bainimarama names while drinking with friends at a club. At least two correspondents to a local newspaper and several government chief executives were also taken for questioning the military.

2006-12-05T17:51:00.000-08:00

I have been in Labasa since Sunday. It is one of my options for a potential site, after having left NCHP in Suva. Labasa is a "city" on Vanua Levu, the other big island...
It smells very strange here. The smell is a pungent one, but i havent been able to put put my finger on what the smells resembles... kind of like baby diarrhea and chow mein. It's so strong I woke up in the middle of the night from it. They say the smell comes from the Sugar Mill, which makes me question why sugar tastes so good but smells so bad while in its process.

Ok, so now for the news... I know a lot of you have been watching the news and have asked me, what's going on in Fiji? Well, I don't really know how to answer that, as I had stated in my previous blog, I'm not used to this sort of reaction from the people in the midst of political turmoil. In Bolivia, things would be so different. There would be demonstrations and road blocks and banners and fists up the air. Not here. People are going on about their businesses, occasionally stopping on the street to listen to the news updates on the radio that blasts outside the many second hand clothing shops that cover the main (the only) street in Labasa.

I am staying with a volunteer here in Labasa, Like most of the pcvs that work for the ministries in Fiji, she too, lives in government quarters. I was shocked to see Military checkpoints right outside of her house. But the soldiers were really nice, waving and saying goodmorning, I even asked if I could take a picture of them and they were happy and eager to pose for the camera, but my camera battery had died. damn. I made sure I charged it last night.

AS of 6 o'clock yesterday evening, the military has taken over the government. Bainimarama, the head of the Military has stated that this will be a "peaceful" transition. Last night, the Prime Minister, Mr Qarase called on Fijians to fight for democracy after the military finally ousted him. Government ministers have also been given a month to vacate government quarters and to return all government property. Their cars were seized yesterday.

The last I heard today was that armed soldiers ordered everyone out of the Parliament premises, and also, they entered the Prime Ministers headquarters, ordered everyone out, and removed some unknown documents.

Last night, the alert for volunteers got changed to standfast, which means we can't leave our sites. Sucks for me, because I have no site. But still, I have to stay here, in Labasa, living in a house with a girl that is so negative she sucks out all of my energy, She doesn't know how to say good morning or good night. Her basic social skills are, to say the least, lacking.

I have also been assigned on an "attachment", or internhip to work with the Ministry of youth. Today I offered to help a guy with a reproductive health workshop for youth. I was excited because, i felt like yeah, there's work to be done! But no. This guy was awesome. He didnt need my help, He was so on top of his shit that I actually ended up learning a thing or two from him. And the kids listened to him and he was excited and passionate about what he was teaching them. I felt like a wallflower, just sitting, useless, in the corner, occasionally taking pictures of him and the kids (because he asked me to). I ended up leaving early because he was making me feel uncomfortable, like he wasn't taking me serioulsy, just commenting on my looks, and when I asked him if he was feeling any better (because he has the flu) he said.. "I feel better if you stayed," ugggghhhh. so i tried again, I asked him if he had taken any medicine, "you the only medicine i need." I left.

As I was walking back into town, with my freshly charged camera battery in hand, i walked by some military dudes, -who by the way, are in full combat gear- and i said my usual, Bula! they didnt seem as friendly today as they did yesterday, and when I took out my camera and pointed it at the smiling camoflauged men, this guy -I'm assuming, in higher rank- comes flying out and yells.. "NO PICTURES!" Woah! ok, ok no pictures. What do you say to a man that comes charging at you with a gun hanging on his shoulder and a little green beret looking hat? ok, ok, no pictures... so I went on my merry way.

2006-11-30T15:01:00.000-08:00

This morning Suva and Nausori Volunteers got called into the PC office as a precaution. Below is the latest news from the Fiji Times. Things have been quiet so far, unlike the civil unrest I'm used to in Bolivia, where, when there is unrest, you feel it, you see it thick in the air. That is what is scary about this situation, nobody really knows what's going on, some people think there will be a coup, others don't think so.. I was just downtown, getting mony from the atm. The lines are long and there are people everywhere. Photographers and camera crews running around shooting footage. Police are also around and I've seen a couple of military trucks driving around.
If anything does happen, if the Military in fact does go ahead with their "clean-up campaign" we will be put in a car and taken to a "safe" place. Right now there is about an hour and a half left until deadline, we'll see what happens.
I'll keep you upadated.
read below from Fiji Times...

Calm but tense ahead of deadline
1030 FJTFriday, December 01, 2006
Update: 10.30AM

Fiji's capital, Suva, is calm but tense this morning, with a little under two hours to go until the deadline for government reforms set yesterday by army commander Commodore Voreqe Bainimarama arrives.
There have been long queues at banks and cash machines around the city and supermarkets are doing brisk business as people stock up on essentials.
There is no increased military or police presence in the city at this time.
Many businesses will be close at 11.30am, sending staff home ahead of the noon deadline for an army takeover.
The University of the South Pacific will close at 11.30am and many schools are thought to be doing the same. Today is the last day of school for the year.
President Ratu Josefa Iloilo and Commodore Bainimarama are now meeting at Government House.
It is expected that Commodore Bainimarama will ask the President to declare a state of emergency allowing the military to move in an maintain control.
Prime Minister Laisenia Qarase was scheduled to open the Attorney-General's conference at the Warwick Resort on the Coral Coast, this morning but did not attend. He is engaged in crisis meetings in his office in Suva.

2006-11-01T15:01:00.000-08:00

Peace Corps, along with all the International Aids have sent out a warning to standby if this escalates. But don't worry, or as we say in fiji Sega na lega, all is fine for now, and it looks like this too might blow over.

From Reuters
Fiji prime minister rejects coup threat
Fiji's prime minister is refusing to resign in the face of threats of a coup from the country's military chief.
"There is absolutely no question of me resigning ... or of my government stepping down," Laisenia Qarase said on Wednesday in an address to the nation on local radio.
"We have the constitutional authority and the support of the people to rule now and for the next five years."
Military chief Frank Bainimarama has threatened to force Qarase to resign unless he drops two contentious bills, including one offering amnesty to some of those involved in a coup in 2000.
Bainimarama has accused the Qarase government of being soft on those involved and said that while the coup leader, failed businessman George Speight, was in prison those who backed him were now in parliament.
He said he regretted appointing Qarase as interim prime minister following the coup. Qarase has since won two free elections.
Military march
The military plans a march by 3,000 reservists through the streets of Suva on Thursday, a day after Fijian soldiers drove through the streets of Suva and took control of tonnes of ammunition from the waterfront.
Fijian political leaders failed to remove Bainimarama from his position on Tuesday, with the military rallying around him.
Indigenous Fijians fear losingpower to ethnic Indian Fijians"Bainimarama is still commander and now the government is in a dilemma and will have to eat their words," commander Colonel Pita Driti told Fiji media on Wednesday.
Bainimarama, currently visiting troops in the Middle East, said he would remove Qarase from office once he returned to Fiji, saying the government was corrupt.
"I'll be back to see that Qarase and his cronies step down," he told the Fiji Sun newspaper on Wednesday. He is expected back in Fiji later this week.
Qarase said police were investigating Bainimarama's threats. "The rule of law must prevail. No one is above the law, no one has the right to interfere with the legal process."
Fiji has suffered three coups and a failed mutiny since 1987.
Racial tension
The coups have been racially fuelled, with indigenous Fijians fearful of losing political control of their island nation to ethnic Indian Fijians, who dominate the economy.
Australia has placed two warships on standby to evacuate its citizens.
"We are very concerned about the possibility of a coup in Fiji," Alexander Downer, Australia's foreign minister, told Australian Broadcasting Corp radio.
The US said it could suspend aid if troops do not respect constitutional processes and the rule of law.

2006-10-31T14:09:00.000-08:00

For the past 3 weeks, I've been living out of my bag and calling the Capricorn hotel my home. The housing issue has become a major problem, The ministry of health hasn't been able to find Jamie and I a house, so we have stayed put, displaced, but waiting...
There have been times when I've wanted to say, oh, the hell with it, I'm going home... If nothing good happens before the end of the day, I'm outta here. But then something good happens, like the day I forgot my umbrella and I was getting soaked walking from the bus station to the hotel, and a man held up his umbrella for me. Or just this past weekend, when my good aussie friend Tim and I took off for the weekend and camped on the Coral Coast... our toes in the sand, and laying in hammocks watching the sun set deep into the horizon. We walked along the shore and collected shells in my sun hat and then threaded them into Tim's dreads... And swimming... Believe it or not, this was the first time I had been to the beach in Fiji, (besides our water safety day during training). There is something about the ocean, swimming in crystal clear, turquoise water washes everything away... Vitamin D also helped with my spirits, not to mention my brown skin. Although we were only gone for a weekend, we came back to the chaos of Suva refreshed and renewed and tanned.
OK, so things aren't that bad, they could be worse, i guess. It was just being in limbo, for three weeks there was so much uncertainty. It was felt thick. Feeling powerless and not able to grasp control of where i was, where i wanted to be or where i was going was driving me insane!
So PC gave me a choice... I could stay in Suva, and live in the Nurses Quarters (ummmm... for those of you who know me well, KNOW that this is just not an option, I hate feeling caged in) OR I could move to a village, about 4-5 hours away from Suva, way up in the interior Highlands. I don't know anything about this village, except that there are 9 families that live there, there is no main road access, and the closest village is an hour and a half away. It's supposed to be beautiful up there, and cold.
So i was thinking a lot, maybe i was thinking too much... It got to the point where I could remember the reasons why I left San Francisco, i just couldnt remember the reasons why i came to Fiji, or Peace Corps for that matter....
But how does one come to make the right choice? what is right?
I felt like i had to make the decission of joining the Peace Corps all over again. Do I stay in Suva, where all my basic comforts can be met? Do I stay at NCHP, where I am working in my field, and there is room for growth and advancement in terms of my own carreer?
Slowly but surely, I started experiencing the same feelings and inner struggles I was faced with before leaving San Francisco. I remember a huge part of the decission in coming here was because I wanted to live humbly. I wanted to be able to remove myslef from the environment that I know and live with the idea of separating my "needs" from my "wants". I wanted to feel the rawness of a foreign culture, get to know the people, live with them, eat with them, become part of them...
This is my struggle in Suva, while it provides a different culture from what i knew back home, it is still an urban setting, Internet access and telefones and coffee shops and red wine available whenever I want... It is harder to find authenticity in the city because there is so much diversity, and people are on a faster pace. Most of the kids here are westernized, mimicking hip hop styles and mtv starlets.... How is this different from home? How did I end up here?

2006-10-17T15:03:00.000-07:00

For those of you who havent heard....
Our house in Suva was burgled! I'll try not to go into full details, as it still makes my stomach turn and I've had to re-tell and re-live this story for everyone and their mothers during the past week or so.
Basically, a burglar came into my house, through the kitchen window, cut through the burglar bars and helped himslef to wander our house while we were sound asleep in our rooms. He even came into my room, where i was sleeping with a fellow volunteer and took my purse, containing my wallet with ids, check cards, my memory card with all my photos (at least he didt take my camera, it was locked up in one of my drawers). In my purse was also the ipod that my sisters sent me for my birthday, my phone, and my p.o.box key. We luckily had other volunteers staying with us that night, but they too, got their stuff stolen. Cameras, ipods, phones, speakers, wallets... We basically got cleaned out! The scary thing is we didnt hear him, and i'm a pretty light sleeper! i even wake myslef up at times if i hear my teeth grinding against each other or the sound of the wind would sometimes wake me up. But not this time. The story gets worse. We called my stolen phone with my roomates phone and the guy answers! Not only that, but he tells us to give him our pin numbers (wich we obviously DIDNT do) & starts making obscene comments and goes as far as calling all the female volunteers in my phone trying to get their addresses and also saying obscenities to them. He even called my sister in Chicago.
So for the past week I've been living in a hotel, out of my bag once again, displaced, uncertain and leaving my fate up to PC programming. They are working on getting us a house - or, god forbid...nurses quarters-, but there are many steps involved in the process. They have to make sure the ministry of health is going to pay for it, that it is a sturdy enough house to withstand a cyclone, that there are burlgar bars in place (i recently learned that burglar bars are not in fact bars to prevent burglars from coming into your house, but rather are there to give you five minutes of deterrence from the burglar). It sucks because we had just settled in, we had finally made the house a home and in a matter of hours, it was nothing but an empty shell, with boxes and plastic bags on the floor... I'm back to basics now, and, oh well.... it's like my dad says, "I ain't got a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of..." At least he didn't take my sense of humor, no?

2006-09-19T17:40:00.000-07:00

2006-09-19T16:29:00.000-07:00

20 de septiembre (Fiji time)

Como se mide el amor?
No creo que se hayan inventado palabras que describan el sentimiento en mi corazón. Es un sentimiento más allá de la felicidad, mezclado con sentimientos de nostalgia. Un sentimiento de orgullo de pertencer a esta familia. Una cadena indestructible que se alimenta de amor. La que me apoya, me ayuda a levantarme cuando caigo, que me ama sin barreras, incondicionalmente.
Si el amor se pudiera medir, el amor que les tengo rompería cada balanza en el mundo. Si fuera cuestión de distancia, tendrían que navegar todos los oceanos y las estrellas, y aún así, la distancia no igualaría el amor que siento por mi familia. Mi familia, única e irremplazable, mi familia.
Se acuerdan nadar en las montañas de arroz en la cooperativa de papi en mineros? Y luego mami le reñía porque llegabamos llenas de bichos. Se acuerdan coleccionar caracoles? Nuestras caras pintadas con la luz de luciernagas? Se acuerdan comer pito en la tienda de doña rosita? Pescando pirañas en el río, nadando en bombachas y luego sentir el calor de una toalla en los brazos de mami. Me acuerdo de la casa en Santa Cruz, y los juegos que inventabamos para pasar el tiempo, en la camioneta azul del tío miguel, olores que invadían el aire, a lechón, a churrasco con cerveza. Jugabamos “lobo lobito” en una llanta tamaño “SCANIA”. Me acuerdo de “beat the bus!” por las mañanas.
Me acuerdo cambiar el calor y la humedad del trópico por una nueva jungla de cemento, el frío y el viento seco de La Paz. Cambiamos piojos por chapas en las mejillas. Me acuerdo que al llegar a la casa de Achumani dormimos todos juntos en un colchón. Se acuerdan chicas? Que enorme era la casa? Y nosotras, unas cunumis patapilas, princesas en un castillo con rejas rojas marcadas con el #800. Me acuerdo de un teléfono que no paraba de sonar. 796649. Se acuerdan de las fiestas en la casa? Familia, amigos, voluntarios… una casa con las puertas abiertas, como los corazones de los que nos criaron. Una casa abierta, con tucanes y conejos y tortugas, nadando en el agua o comiendo lechuga con el tatú en el jardín. Una casa abierta, una cocina impermeada con olores de café, ajo, miel, ají y quirquiña.
Como se mide el amor?
Se mide por el numero de sonrisas, por los sonidos de carcajadas, se mide con abrazos y besos y desayuno en la cama el día de cumpleaños. Se mide con un helado con chocolate todos los domingos. Se mide con flores frescas en el living. Se mide con hermanas que pelean y se jalan de los pelos, pero que se abuenan con sonrisas compartiendo ropa y secretos y copas de vino.
Como se mide el amor? Se mide con música tocando fuerte en el auto, con telefunken y películas debajo de mil frazadas y almohadas. Se mide con momentos, con historias que nacieron de un pozo seco, o un estuche de guitarra cargado de comida. Se mide con aventuras, nadando con tortugas en Hawaii, se mide con vacaciones, comiendo camarón en Salvador do Bahía, tomando caipiriñas y bailando samba en la arena. Se mide con ojos moreteados por cocos en las Bahamas, con piel que absorbe el sol debajo de las poleras que mami nos hacía lucir en el agua. Se mide con locuras y shows de “las comadres” completos con comerciales de “la mostaza más fina”. Se mide con un hermanito para besar y cargar hasta que los brazos se cansen. Se mide con llantos que se convierten en mariposas y sonrisas, se mide con peleas que terminan en abrazos y un “lo siento”. Se mide con salteñas, con un mate de coca para calmar el sorojchi.
Como se mide el amor?
Se mide con sacrificios. Se mide con las locuras de un padre, visionario, gitano y revolucionario. Se mide con las caricias de una madre de porcelana y de fierro. Se mide con un hermano que cuenta muñecas y hermanas, asegurándose de que no falte ninguna.
Hoy cumplo 25 años. En Fiji, Rua sagavulu ka lima.
25 años de vida, que gracias a todos ustedes, mi familia, mi cadena de amor, mi fortaleza y energía, han sido llenados de 25 años de experiencias que no se pueden comprar. “Todo no se compra, todo no se vende, conozco una lista interminable de cosas que son más importantes que la seguridad…” (-tanguito)
Como se mide el amor?
El amor quizas no se mida, quizás es necesario vivirlo, sentirlo entre las venas, y despertar un día, cuando cumplas rua sagavulu ka lima años y te sientas la persona más afortunada del mundo, por haber vivido y compartido y amado de la manera en la que yo lo hice, y continuo haciendo, día tras día.
Mi familia, como los extraño, y quisiera tenerlos cerca el día de hoy, pero me acuerdo de sus sonrisas y el calor de sus abrazos, y cargo sus corazones bien envueltos -como humintas- en mi corazón.

2006-09-17T15:38:00.000-07:00

"TO BE AFRAID AND LEAP REGARDLESS...THERE IS SUCH POWER IN THAT."

-Sabrina Ward Harrison

2006-09-13T16:03:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling a bit frustrated with this whole job situation.
On one hand, I feel that the work I will be doing here at NCHP provides an avenue to be able to reach the entire country, and that's huge. On the other hand, I feel like I'm back to the 9-5 job back home. I never expeceted my Peace Corps job to include computers, much less available internet. It's not that I'm complaining, its just sometimes i just want to paint murals or work with women on their handicrafts or build a playground, or find an orphanage and start a workshop. I feel like the work i'm doing is not as hands-on as i expected it to be.
I work in Tamavua, a village located about 15-20 bus ride from Suva. The Fiji School of Medicine and the Fiji School of Nursing are both adjacent to my building, as is the stroke rehabilitation center. My counterpart's name is Komai, he is from an island named Gau. People here call him "Ratu" which means chief. I think he might have been a chief in his village. My friend Katie is serving in Gau. She and Tui (her mangey village dog) were just in Suva re-stocking on food and supplies and stayed with us for a few days. She said the villagers eat dog in Gau.
I wonder what dog tastes like. Hopefully they won't eat Tui.
I also work with a Tongan guy, Vilisoni, we call him Sony. He's on attachment from the Ministry of Health in Tonga. He came to NCHP to learn how to use design software. So far, I've made that my priority. I've been teaching him Photoshop and we'll move on to Illustrator and InDesign before he leaves back for Tonga in November. He's a really cool guy, an incredible artist. He's also a tattoo artist, did some work on another volunteer friend of mine, jenny. I'm contemplating on weather or not i want to get a tattoo from him before he leaves. He says when I travel through Tonga I can stay with him and his family. I would love to visit Tonga.
I also work with Tomasi, he's the lead designer at the center. Although he's had formal training on design software, There is still that aesthetic element missing on a lot of his work. I find that I feel awkard when I build my posters because they are so different from all the work he does. So i've been bringing in a bunch of magazines, different examples of more contemporary design ideas... It seems like Tomasi will be harder to get through to... He seems stuck in his ways. But he's a nice guy, he's always blasting music from his computer. He sings to Fijian Gospel at the top of his lungs, or SIngs along to the Lion King Soundtrack. WTF!? It's actually hilarious.
So far I've designed a Mental Health Brochure, a Diabetes Poster and fact card, a logo for "AGLOW" the organization my friend Rob is working with, and 3 posters for Accident and Injury prevention (Road Accidents, Drowning, and Sports Injuries) All of these things, (except for the aglow logo) are still pending. I think my frustration comes from the slow-ness of the process for getting anything done here. Everyone says they'll get back to me for approval on these things, but they never do. So basically everything I've done is still sitting in a pile, not moving forward. It's just frustrating to want to be done with something, but instead i have a million unfinished things, waiting for approval to go to press. I guess it's not that bad, I still come to work everyday and most of the time I just have tea, hang out and chat it up with the staff. I'm really looking forward to my Secondary Project, I can't wait to get my hands on some paint and go out and paint some murals with some suva kids.... more on that later.

2006-09-10T16:35:00.000-07:00

Meet Kata. She loves dancing to greatful dead at 3AM,
speaking fijian, and jumping off cliffs into the water.
She enjoys drinking grog and taki'n na bia, and Seinfeld trivia!
She loves and lives passionately.

Meet Ropate. That's Fijian for Robert. We laugh a lot.
He's a crunchy hippie with gnar feet, but he wears FANCY sunglasses.
He goes commando under his tie-dyed sulu, noodle dances like a pro
and I have no idea how his enourmous heart fits in his yogi body.
(you're my boy blue!)

Meet Carrie. (known in Fiji as the girl from china)

She understands my randomness.

Her laughter is contagious. She enjoys iced coffee,
she can knit a beenie on a bus ride from Sigatoka to Suva!
She loves surfing and all things involving the wai tui.

2006-09-06T20:07:00.000-07:00

My friend, Tukai's beautiful daughter

Presenting Whale's tooth to President ( This is the highest form of honor & respect)

Foto: Compliments of Katie Lailai

Ladies coming back from Sunday church service... "masu mada"

This is an old picture of Aji's family I found while at my stay in the village...

The girl in the middle with the long black hair looks EXACTLY like my sister Heather.

(Chiki- que haces en la foto! its crazy how much you look like this lady.. I found your clone!)

2006-08-29T17:07:00.000-07:00

Why I ever owned a hamster as a child is beyond me...
I HATE rodents. Yes, indeed, I had another encounter last night. Except this time it was a rat. A big, black, hairy, jungle rat. There is an air-con unit in my room, because the previous volunteer that lived in our house was a Peace Corps Princess... or so they say... It's mounted on my wall, above my bed, all bulky and dusty...Anyhow- it was never my intention to use the air-conditioning in the first place, i don't even know how to turn it on.
Here's the story:
I wake up to the sound of chewing. I know that sound, loud and clear, I could recognize that sound anywhere. I think I've been scarred for life since the incident with the Saweni mice. The sound was the same, only a louder, a bigger sound (if that even makes sense). At first i thought it was the bats that chill out by my window, I've become accostumed to their squeeling at night, it kind of sounds like they are giving birth....
So when I realize the sound is coming from inside the house, inside my room, right above my bed, i freak out. I throw the sheets off me and turn on the light. yeah. Sure enough, a thick, black rat tail is curled up agianst the wall, sticking out of that old, dusty air-con machine. The rat is still, paralyzed and silent. I think it was trying to get me to think it wasn't there. But it was there all right, black and hairy and big...there was no way i could ignore that thick black tail... uggghhh. i'm getting squeemish just thinking about it. So i look around my room for something, i don't know what, just something to get the rat out of my room, to leave the same way it came from without falling to my bed or ME for that matter. I ran to the kitchen and grabbed the cockroach killing spray... I sprayed the air-con vent and still the rat didn't budge. I sprayed it some more. Nothing. It was as if the rat was laughing at me. So then i got pissed off and with my fly swatter i banged on the vent until the rat crawled out, balanced itself on the wires that connect the air-con to a hole leading outside. A hole. (No wonder i was still getting bit my mosquitoes, even after PWD put mosquito screens on our windows.) So i grabbed duct tape and taped up the hole. That didn't work. As soon as i was falling back asleep, i heard the rat come back. Or maybe i was dreaming it? i didn't care. I tucked my matress in the mosquito net above my bed and hoped to god the rat wouldnt fall on it, using it as a safety net. Why it even enjoys chewing on the wires inside the air con vent? I don't know. But I do know, that if the air-con worked before, it sure as hell doesn't anymore.

2006-08-28T19:41:00.000-07:00

One of my closest friends from PST (Pre-Service Training) left about two weeks ago. We call him Toad. His name is Todd, and is absolutely one of the kindest people I've ever met. It's just hit me, how much I miss him, How much I miss getting a random text message from him, or a phone call or a a hug.
I remember first meeting him in LA, at orientation at the Renaissance Hotel. We got stuck doing this stpudid ice-breaker excercise together. I remember introducing myself, extending my hand to shake his... And Toad, sweet as he is, said, "I'm a hugger". And that was it, I knew we would be friends.
Toad had it rough from the very beginning. He asked for the chicken meal on Air New Zealand. It was pink, so he didn't eat it, he drank wine instead. And then, when we got to our host families, he got bed bugs. Itchy and swollen and miserable as it was, Toad kept truckin' on through. Giving out hugs and love... It's crazy, but in the short amount of time we had here, we became good friends. We saw each other through good times through not so good times, through really bad no good times at all... We cried and laughed and danced and sat on the beach or at Aji's house drinking grog, me and Toad and Ropate, my boys... and we made a pact that if we ever decided to leave we wouldn't do so without talking to each other first. (that seems like ages ago)
And then he constantly kept getting sick. I could see him losing pounds (or in this case, kilos) every week. I could see him struggling without his girlfriend, who he left back home. I could see him really struggling to keep things together and stay. Even after site visit, even after swearing in.... I remember him calling me in a panic... crying over the phone and not knowing what to do. I knew then, i was losing toad. When it came down to it though, some things are just not worth it, some things just don't feel right, and some things are just too big to give up and risk losing. I even played devils advocate a lot with him and tried to convince him to stay... Toad's heart was just in a different place. So while I lost Toad's presence here in Fiji, I've gained the support of a true friend. It was hard to see him E.T. (Early Terminate) but in the long run I know he's done the right thing for himself.
If you are reading this Toad man: I miss you, we all miss you... Your absence is greatly felt . And i can't believe you didnt leave me your Charlie Brown T-shirt. What's up with that!?

2006-08-28T18:58:00.000-07:00

The Following photos were taken by Katie "Kata" Ogden,
one of the members of my bomb-ass PST group: The Saweni Cinco

Saweni Sunset

Fiji Gold

Austin Powers left his car in Fiji!

Drinking Grog at Indian Wedding, Saweni

HIV / AIDS Awareness Sabeto Secondary School

2006-08-20T21:29:00.000-07:00

Ropate and Toad, Viseisei Beach

kids at Viseisei Beach

Care & I at Bulaccino, Nadi

2006-08-10T19:49:00.000-07:00

It's been a while- so here a couple of posts -from my journal:

July 28, 2006
This was our fisrt day in Lawaki. i think I'm still going through cuiture shock. Fijian Village life is drastically different that living in an Indian Settlement. I didn't meet my "nene" (host mom) until later in the day. I presented my sevusevu to her and her husband. (a sevusevu is a formal way of asking permission to enter a village or family. It is the actual root of yangona, which is used to make grog, or kava, it is wrapped in newspaper and looks all twined up and spiraled. it looks kind of like a gnome head) anyway, my sevusevu went something like this: " Oqo en dua na noqo i sevusevu lailai" Fijian language is a trip! it's so wierd.. but it sounds beautiful when they speak it, especially the women, with their soft voices.... the "q" is pronounced as an "ng" sound the "c" is pronounced "th" as in "that". Very confusing.
There was a fundraiser tonight in the village. All the villagers invited us to drink grog with them. I drank so much grog, more than i've had in one sitting since i've been here. It made me so tired and i was in slooooooooww- motion. I slept like a rock though. The grog hangover is crazy, all you want to do is sleep, and eat, and sleep some more. Went to church on sunday. They attend a methodist church in the village. There is a wooden "lolly" (a drum) that they beat as a bell to come to church. Its really cool... everyone gets dressed in their best clothes, with their bibles and hymn books in hand. I went to church for two hours in the morning and then 2 hours again at night. Dad would be very proud. All in Fijian... it was interesting, the preacher was definately preaching, but the choir was beautiful.

August 3, 2006
Oath of service:
I, Danica Conneely solemnly swear pledge my commitment and support to the people of Fiji, and in the spirit of peace, friendship, and international cooperation that I will do my best to represent my counrty while respecting the traditions, culture and values of Fiji, that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion, and that I will well and faithfully carry out my duties as a Peace Corps Volunteer.

August 8, 2006
Last night was the first time I cooked in our kitchen. We had a bunch of people over (mostly from FRE2 and FRE3). I made pasta with mussels and salad and garlic bread. It was a nice break from all the dalo and boiled fish we've been eating. One of the volunteers even brought some wine! It was comforting to cook and entertain some friends. The first of many dinners to come. The house I live in is big, It's in government quarters so it looks sketchy and institutional from the outside. But we have a yard and apparently an avocado tree (havent seen any avocados yet) and a mango tree that just flowers but doesn't fruit. We are pretty close to the police post and only a 5 minute walk from the University of the South Pacific. Also close to the water, although there is only a sea wall, no beach, The skies are gorgeous here, especially when it's not cloudy out. Can't wait to know my way around the city and not look or feel lost.

August 11, 2006
Suva is good, it rains almost every day which makes it impossible for laundry to dry... i did laundry 3 days ago and they still have not dried. Its all the humidity, I guess. The Public Works Department has been working on our house for the past week and they still have many repairs to do to the house. Most importatly- mosquito screens. It's funny how Fijians break for tea, then an hour to 2 hours lunch and then tea agian... It reminds me of Bolivia and how everything shuts down for two-3 hours at lunch.. siesta!
Night time is the loudest time at the house. The bats here are HUGE. They look like flying dogs without tails. and they squeal really loud too. There are rats living on our roof top, and since it is made of tin, you can hear their claws as they scurry across the rooftop. The most annoying sound of all, however, is waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of mosquitoes buzzing in your ear. Last night I put up a mosquito net around my bed and have had the best night's sleep in a long, long time. I didn't wake up once! and the mosquito net looks really cool too, kind of like a canopy bed, only not as romantic, definatley not romantic.

2006-07-26T18:31:00.000-07:00

I had an unexpected visitor in my bed last night. I woke up to an annoying pain coming from my ring finger. It was a sharp pain, like a prick from a needle. I woke up suddenly. I knew right away, I had been bitten by a mouse. I ripped the covers from me and turned on the fluorescent light in my room. Sure enough, a little grey mouse dropped from the inside of my sheets, onto the floor, and scurried away under the bed. At this point my heart is racing and i'm standing frozen, my hand still on the light switch. Disgusting. My eyes wide open and immobile, I stood there a while, contemplating my next move. How could i fall back asleep knowing that a rodent is out to get me, wanting to gnaw on my hands, or any of my extremeties for that matter... where the hell did it even come from?
(And the worst part about the whole thing is this is not my first encounter with a mouse in my room. A couple of weeks ago, before I headed to Suva to visit my site, I packed my bags and had put some chocolate in my backpack, but forgot to zip it up. The next thing you know I wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of a crinckling bag, I thought, ok, a cockroach got in my bag... so as I started to empty the contents of it... a mouse ( the same mouse, i think) comes flying out of my bag! I dropped my stuff and screamed... I think that time the mouse was more afraid of me that i was of it...)
But this little fucker is hidden away all day, living in some dark corner in my room and only comes out when its completely quiet and dark, helping itself to my secret stash of chocolate or my hand. eeewww. I now know the true meaning of "as quiet as a mouse".
I wasn't having it this time. Not only did the mouse bite me, but it woke me up and now it was impossible to fall back asleep. I looked at the clock. 3:00 AM. I was pissed! So I muster up the courage to take my hand off the light switch, and looked under my bed to see if i could spot it. I had an umbrella in one hand and my shoe (ok, yes, my teva) in the other. I was ready to crush its little nasty skull in. But there was no sign of the mouse. The batteries from my torch died so I got back in bed, switched off the light and just laid there, eyes, still wide open, twitching at any miniscule noise or touch on my skin. I really looked like a crackhead, paranoid from every little sound, and lighting my surroundings with the backlight of my cellphone. At this point the dogs outside started barking, the geckos in my room with their loud chirping, the crickets outside my window... And i just laid there, eyes wide open in the dark... 3:30 AM. Another sleepless night in Saweni. Welcome to the frickin jungle.

2006-07-11T17:23:00.000-07:00

I got a nose ring!
(side note: now i really look like an Indian girl
and my family can't wait to marry off to an indian man...
uhhh, i think i'll pass on that one , but thanks for the offer!)

View from the bus... Viseisei village

shoes and feet at language class

eating sugarcane under the mango tree

in front of host families' home

2006-07-11T17:07:00.000-07:00

Host Sisters (jiji's)

Saweni Indian Settlement

Traditional Indian Wedding Ceremony,
Saweni Indian Settlement

Indian Bride
Saweni Indian Settlement

2006-07-11T16:48:00.000-07:00

Welcome Yaqona ceremony, Nadi

Fijian Girl, Lomolomo Village

View from Abaca, Koroyanitu National Park

2006-07-05T21:03:00.000-07:00

I bought a cell phone in town- so i'm feeling all sorts of anxiety. At first i wanted to be able to detatch myself as much as possible, but the truth is- i need to be or at least feel connected and seing as this internet situation can be random, i decided in case of emergency meltdowns a cellphone was the closest thing i have to be near my family and friends. So here i am, all fancy, a peace corps volunteer with her cellphone and teva's! hahaha.
Anyhow- This past week just flew by. Peace Corps has been keeping us very busy. On Sunday we presented our community mapping project to the community where we have been living. It involved drawing up a map of the settlement, indentifying the most common problem areas, interviewing people from the ministry of health, ministry of eductaion, youth, women, and pretty much every ministry you can imagine.. Here in Fiji they have a ministry for everything. It's actually kind of frustrating because these cases keep getting passed around to each other and they all refer and pass around the same case to each other.
Anyhow- we reported our findings and just recently were able to present to the community where we have been living for the past month. Our group (the ones living in the Hindi settlement) focused on Food and Nutrition, water sanitation, oral and personal hygiene, NCD's, (Non-Communicable Diseases) and STI's, focusing on HIV/AIDS. We had done some research on the number of people living in Saweni that voluntarily went and got tested during this past year.. It was startling to see the numbers of people who have Syphillis, Gonorrhea, and even HIV. the youngest case we saw was a 14 year old boy who had contracted Gonorrhea. The women were shocked to see the numbers of STIs in their communities, they hadnt realized that this could actually happen to them. Since sex is sucha big taboo here in Fiji, it was important to tell the mothers whats going on, i think the most important thing we got out of our presentation was the fact that the women realized that if fourteen year old boys were contacting Gonorrhea, then maybe their own kids were out there having sex. The other issue here is that it is socially acceptable for men to cheat on their wives, so who knows the amount of diseases that they might be spreading to each other. The good news is that we got the women to see the severity of the problem and they voluntarily want to go get tested now. Baby steps, baby steps.
We also had to do a lesson plan for a primary school in a fijian village. I, along with two other girls from my group were assigned to teach about early puberty and the importance of phyiscal fitness. I was in charge of explaining puberty to the girls, they are about 11 years old. I drew up some lovely vagina diagrams and explained the process of menstrauttion and ovulation. They were so attentive and curious and asked questions.. good thing I did my lesson panning and studied up the night before! It's just very interesting to me how their own mothers dont talk to them about the changes that are going on in their bodies. Some girls just simply don't know what it means to have a period. So it was definately rewarding to be able to contriibute in that sense. A couple days after that we taught at a Secondary school, mostly focused on STI's and did more HIV and AIDS awareness. Pretty much beat them over the heads with "dont have sex without condoms" we even did a condom demonstration with a banana. got a lot of laughs from that one, but hopefully it was effective in the end.
Also- had my LPI this week, (language proficiency interview) it was sort of a practice one, and i think i did alright. I am at Novice Medium level. so I am able to ask the time, say hello and goodbye, say my head hurts and most importantly bargain at the market. (ii anaras Bahut mahenga! daam kamti karo!) this pineapple is too expensive, lower the price. :)
So, the most important thing that happened this week: SITE PLACEMENT ANNOUNCEMENTS. It was cool the way they did it, they drew a big map of the islands on the floor with rope and called us each up individually, gave us a certificate that stated where we were going and who we would be working with, and then they walked us to wherever we were on the map. I got Suva! I was kind of hoping for Suva, rather than a random village in the middle of nowhere. But now I"m feeling anxious and a little bit like i don't know if I'll get the Peace Corps expereince that i thought up in my head. Everyone keeps saying how dangerous suva is- but I think that like all cities- it's just more populated and more prone to pickpocketers and looters. I'll have to see for myslef. I will have a roomate. She is FRE-4, (Fiji Re entry, year 4) just like me, except she lives in a fijian village, and I dont really know her that well and she seems like kind of a weenie, but again, we'll just have to see. I was talking to her today and she's already visited the place, She says its nice, a three bedroom apartment ( guest room hint hint come visit) , we have hot water (wow... hot shower, cant wait!) air-con, and an avocado tree in the back. NOt too shabby if you ask me! :) Also- the house is on government compound, the Embassy is near by and it is actually the only PC house in Suva that hasnt been broken into yet. So i feel safe knowing that I will be living in a relatively safe house. I will be working with the National Center for Health Promotion, and guess what? I will be utilizing my skills as a graphic artist! and I thought i was going to be working in health.... how random? I don't have specifics on the Job description, but i had a conversation with a lady from the PC staff and she said that I will be re-designing a lot of the outdated health brochures that are currently handed out at hospitals and health clinics throughout fiji. She also said I will be working with the media??? hmmm. curious and excited about the job. At first i was feeling a little unsure of the assignment, because one of the main reasons I joined PC was because i wasnt sure if I wanted to be a designer forever, but i guess its like my mom says- everything happens for a reason, and this could be a huge step in my carreer, to say that I've developed materials and worked with the National Center for Health Promotion in Fiji! Its funny how things seem to fall into place like that.
We get to visit our sites for a week, and leave on monday. then we come back for three weeks and swear in as volunteers august 3rd! its crazy how time just flies by when you are keeping busy.

2006-06-26T22:30:00.000-07:00

I bought a ghetto blaster to replace my ipod... oh the joy, sweet sweet music in my ears... It's a small am/fm radio that looks like it came right out of the 80's. The good thing is that they play lots and lots of Reggae here and that aint bad.. There's something about islands and Bob Marley and the Eagles.. they love it! and i love them, so it works out great. Fijian music is also not half bad, so in that regard, life is definately better. The pitter patter of mice still resonates in my room, but I've learned to block out the noises so i sleep a lot better now. My encounters with flying cockraoches have also diminished... I think it's too cold for them to come out of whatever dark holes they crawl out of (after all, it is winter here in fiji). So on that note- i'm doing a lot better. Here is a piece of something I wrote in my journal:
June 21, 2006
Today felt like Christmas. Definately one of the best days so far in Saweni. I got 2 letters and a care package. Got a letter and care package from mami. She sent me coffee and sour icebreakers... It's crazy how much meaning little things can have... just to smell the coffee brought me so much joy... and the letter from maru- a 5 page typed letter. It made me so happy to hold it and read it and laugh.. It was as if she was here in person. What a wonderful feeling to receive a tangible piece of mail, there's something about the ritual of opening the envelope, in my case it was more like a kid on christmas, tearing at the paper- hungry to reveal what was inside...
Anyhow- thought i'd share that....
Last weekend we went to Koroyanitu National Park.. up in the mountains. It was great! We spent the night at a place called Abaca Eco Lodge, just east of where we are staying now. The whole Health group went up there, along with our Tech trainer Nani, She is a big jolly Fijian lady, with the most contagious laughter I' have ever had teh pleasure of hearing. She let us bring wine, and we cooked stir fried rice with broccoli and chicken.. (not currified! woooohooo!!) There was no elecrticity up there or running water, but the stars were unbelievable. I sat on the roof of the car with some of my new friends and stared up at the sky and counted shooting stars... Later, we drank kava (or grog or yangona as us "locals" call it :) In the morning we woke up at 6 am and headed out for a hike on a tropical rainforrest trail... I had my tennis shoes packed in Suva, so I hiked in my tevas. yes, I said it, teva's.. I know you're laughing maru- stop it. hahahaha... anyhow- i definately don't recommend hiking in teva's.. i ate dirt a couple of times but it was well worth it. The views were spectacular, tropical forrest, mountains and ocean for miles and miles, I wish i had pictures to show you, i'll upload them soon. After the hike we found a swimming hole, next to a waterfall. The water was freezing but those of you who know me - KNOW that i of course had to jump off the rocks and test the waters out for myself. So that's what i did. I had to work my way up to jumping from the highest rocks, but it was an adrenaline rush and the water- although freezing, felt wonderful after that long two hour hike....
It was by far one of the most memorable days in Fiji thus far.
So yes, I have my bad days here in fiji, At times I get lonely and homesick and just plain sick, but for the most part, I am happy, and i feel blessed to have this opportunity and be able to live out this experience in Fiji of all places.
Someone once said to me- "I hope you find whatever it is you set out to find in Fiji"- The truth is... I don't know what that is exactly, if the reason why I am here is to "find" something, but while reading the other night i encountered this quote by Sabrina Ward Harrison... She says: "I believe we must create what we most need to find". I find such wisdom in that, and hope to stick to my convictions, set up my goals, live my own experiences and whatever comes of that, is good enough for me.

2006-06-16T20:59:00.000-07:00

My ipod broke. I got the little man with the x's for eyes and an exclamation mark. DAMNIT! For those of you who know me well, you can probably picture my reaction when i got the little man of death on my ipod screen. I cried myslef to sleep that night. cheesy, pathetic maybe, but true. Anyhow- it's like my dad says.. I'm down to the basics now... I came into town today to try and find a discman... $160 fijian dollars! hell no, not on a PC salary. So it looks like I'll be drowining in my silence until I can find a small (and cheap) plug in AM/FM radio to listen to... At least they play a lot of reggae/ island music, so i'll be fine for a while.
On a different, more important note: I'm starting to get adjusted to my new host family, although sometimes I feel like I'm more of an income-generating project as opposed to "a part of the family". Being in Fiji and living with an Indo-Fijian family is a strange but unique experience. According to my host mom Fijians are to blame for everything. There is so much resentment there, i guess i can understand why, Indo-Fijians make up 45% of the population in Fiji and still, they are not allowed to own land. Even if at one point they owned land, like in Shobna's (my host mom) case- they owned the house and sugarcane plantation around their house for 55 years, but after the coup they had to hand over the land to the fijians and start a lease, in which they pay a monthly stipend to their Fijian landlord. They have a lease for 45 more years. Many Indo-Fijians are emigrating and moving to Australia and New Zealand in search of better lives. Scholarships are also not given to Indo Fijian students and are only available for Fijian students. I went off on a tangent there- anyway.. yes, Shobna always warns me to stay away from the Fijians, and then we have the Fijians who blame the Indo-Fijians for everything. It's a lose-lose situation. I don't take sides, nor would I ever want to. People are people and so far I've met some pretty wonderful individuals here in fiji, despite their race or creed.
We had water safety day yesterday. It was the first time i was in the ocean in Fiji. The water was like bath water. 80 degrees, under the blaring sun... it was so great to be out at sea. We took a boat out into the ocean and swam around for a bit too. The tricky part is trying to get back on the boat when you're way out in the ocean. The water definatley helped my spirits, it was as if i was literally washing away my anxieties and frustrations. I slept like a baby last night. No music to fall asleep to, but had some beers with a couple of volunteers who live nearby, that definately contributed to a great night's sleep.
Today i made brakfast for my host family. Tuna sandwiches and coffee... not much else in the pantry. Shobna, the girls and I went to cut some sugarcane with a machete... Shobna's pretty tough, she was out there whacking away. We sat under the mango tree in front of their house and ate some sugarcane and mangos... yummmm... Tomorrow I'm going fishing with another volunteer and her host family, I'm really looking forward to another day out by the sea.

note: It's really hard to upload photos on these computers. I've been on this computer for two hours now and I was only able to upload the one photo. Still on the lookout for a faster connection.

2006-06-13T22:23:00.000-07:00

Internet access is very limited around these parts.... my apologies for not updating sooner,
one seems to have more hours in a day living on an island... or maybe it's just that the days seem longer because things move slower? i feel like my days here are endless, no communication, no tv in english, no way really to pass the time, just do the work and live minute by minute.. I make it sound bad, it really isnt that bad. (except of course for the mice and flying cockroaches and my feet and legs which now resemble bubble wrap because of all the mosquito bites i've been getting)
I'm usually up between 5:30 - 6:00 AM, I help Shobna make Roti, and pack lunches for the girls, which includes roti and curry. then we have language class with a horrible language instructor, Kamlesh, who hasn't really taught us anything, except how to say our names and count to 10. After lunch we meet at a different village which we rotate depending on the day, and meet with the entire health group. we go up until 4-5 sometimes 6 and then it's going home to a cold shower and dinner. curry. That's all we eat, everyday, morning noon and night... curry for breakfast lunch and dinner. Hindu's call everything curry. it's mostly veggies stirfried in some oil and masala powder, or fish curry (which is actually good, except when it comes out of a can.) I never thought i'd say this, but indian food?... not a big fan anymore. Shobna is good about picking up signs though. the other day i mentioned to her how much i miss salads and she came home yesterday with a bag of lettuce, tomatoes and cucumbers... i had salad for dinner last night and salad for lunch today. dressing would have been awesome! nonetheless, it was a good break from curry roti and puri. Anyhow- I'm usually in bed by 9 pm, exhausted from trying to absorb as much information as possible, exhausted from the frustration, miscommunication and heat. Oh, and speaking of frustration- i should mention that the misunderstanding about my room got cleared up, so i now have my own room, no door that closes all the way, but i have my own room now and that makes a huge difference.
We came into town today, the Saweni 6. That's the name i gave myslef and the 5 other volunteers that live in the Indian settlement(Saweni) with me. I needed to stock up on some fruit and other food items other than curry. so I took advantage to update this thing.... I still havent found a place to upload my photos and i'm afraid i won't be able to until we get to suva. (which isn't for another 5 weeks!) but i'm on the lookout for high speed internet.
I'm looking forward to friday, we have water safety day.. woohooo! so it will be the first time i actually get in the ocean in Fiji! very excited about that. and the following week after that we have an Eco-tourism trip, which is an overnight stay with the entire group of volunteers, both health and environment.. that should be fun too. We are now down to 30 volunteers, from the 32 that came to Fiji... scary thought, to think that it could be any one of us, to get fed up, tired, homesick, or whatever the reason may be, reason big enough to want to quit and go home. It's scary to think that i might be next, i doubt it, but you just never know...
anyhow, teh sun is going down and it's starting to get dark. i'm not allowed out of my village after dark, so i must go now, but i'll try to upload photos and write more this weekend. sending you all un abrazo lleno de abrazos to you all.

2006-06-03T19:53:00.000-07:00

Kaunchi means "what?" in Hindi. I've been saying it a lot for the past day and a half.
Yesterday morning we arrived at our host families house. My host family are Roti Indians, the Prasad's. Shobna Prasad, my amma, (means mom) and mi jiji's (means sisters) are Shinal (12), Aju, (9) and Simran (7). Aji, (the grandma) also lives in the house with them. The dad is working as a truck driver in New Zealand and Shobna and the girls plan to join him in a few months.
I must say the experience is overwhelming. First of all, there was sort of a confusion with the housing situation. During orientation they repeated and re-iterated that we would be getting our own rooms, that the rooms would have a door and a lock.
Well.. my experience so far has been quite interesting becuase of this confusion. When i got to the house, Shobna and the girls led me to the room I would be staying in. The room has two beds. Shobna and two of the girls sleep in one bed, and I was to sleep in the other bed. "Is this ok?" Shobna asks.... hmmmm. well, in my head i'm thinking, um, no, this is absolutely not ok, but of course i say, yes, yes, its fine. I don't want to seem rude and ungrateful for their hospitality, but now i am just feeling frustrated about the mishap and when i do bring it up to the PC staff, I don't want to make it seem as if though I was unhappy with my family, or that if PC tells my family something that they would get in trouble for not following protocol, or worst yet, that they would end up giving me Aji's room and that they all cram themselves in the one room next to mine, while i am all spread out all american and alone in my own room. I'm feeling so frustrated about this and i really don't want to have to deal with it, but 10 weeks is a long time and eventually i'm going to need my privacy. I'll bring it up on HUB day on tuesday.
Ok, so back to the experience- I'm sitting on the bed, and they all start bombarding me with questions... how is my family? where do i come from? what is my sign and all of my sisters and brothers signs... do i have a boyfriend? would i marry an indian boy? do i want to try on a sari? Hindi people have no sense of privacy. Shobna changed right in front of me after her shower (-which by the way is freezing cold water- so we take our baths in the afternoon when it's really hot). I had to ask the girls to leave in order for me to change... even when i did, i could hear them behind the door ( the door also does not close all the way) yes, my own room and a door that closes would be nice.) The girls follow me around everywhere, They are beautiful girls, with big black eyes and huge smiles... i'll post pictures next time. They danced in the living room for me, and they played with my camera, were fascinated with my ipod... little simran is especially attached to me. she holds my and and brushes my hair and stares at me while i'm sitting down, she says- you are so beautiful... ahhh. i say no- you are the one that's beautiful... its so cute.
What else? I ate really good fish curry, the girls either stand and eat or sit on the counter and eat. Shobna handed me a plate or baat (rice) and curry and said here, eat. OK... i didn't have a fork, so i didn't start eating.. again she asks.. is this ok? i'm like- yeah, sure.. and then i see the girls start eating with their hands... so i started eating with my hands.. they all laughed at me... I think i'm going to get a lot of laughs during these next 10 weeks. a lot of mistakes to be made and a lot, a lot, to learn. They are taking me to a wedding next week, so it'll be real interesting.. i'm very excited about that. And also- they said they would take me to see saweni beach next week.. which i'm really excited about because so far i havent seen the beach, and i am dying to just stick my feet in the sand.
Today we came into town to go to the movies. The girls and I went to see x-men and shobna and her friend are watching a hindi movie... which explains why i've had the time to write... i think that sitting here writing, has been the most time i've spent alone since i got to the Prasad's house.... ok, so the girls were lingering over me curious as to what i'm writing... so i must go. i'm trying hard to compromise. i'm trying real hard.

2006-06-01T02:30:00.000-07:00

We arrived in Nadi yesterday morning at 3 AM. We got off the plane to the sounds of Fijian men playing guitar and ukaleleis (spelling?) and singing in Fijian. Even at 3 AM it was so surreal! Oghale, our country director was waiting for us, along with some of the PC staff and even some current volunteers were at the airport to greet us. I couldnt believe it, it was 3 am and the volunteers and staff were all at the airport just there to welcome us. we were all jet lagged, of course, but excited, at least i know i was... still am, i still can't believe i'm here.
so far the days have been jam- packed. Although we only arrived yesterday early morning, we had to be up at and at it at 11 am and ready for meeting after meeting after lecture after introduction... The good thing about Fijians is that they are very laid back, and FRIENDLY! they are alwasy laughing and cracking jokes. it's great. So anyhow- after our meetings and PST (pre service training) orientation we had our first KAVA ceremony! They gave us sulu's to wear around our waists and they welcomed us as trainees. men sit cross legged and women sit with their legs to the side (kind of uncomfortable, it'll definately take some getting used to). There i s absolutely NO talking during the ceremony. They talk in Fijian, which I couldnt uderstand a word of, all i heard was "Peace Corps" interlaced with Fijian that i could not grasp for the life of me.
Matty was right. They do the whole clapping thing. First they offer you the bowl of Kava and you accept by clapping your hands. then you say Bula, and you drink the whole thing... no sipping. then you give the bowl back and clap 3 times. It was a very interesting experience to say the least. The kava tasted kind of strange. definately not like anything i've ever tasted before... it numbs your tongue for a bit, but it was definately not as bad as i had expected it to be, of course i heard from someone that they were easing us into it, and they had diluted the kava so we could drink it... anyhow- there is another long day ahead of us tomorrow, and i must go because i am getting killed by mosquitoes.

2006-05-18T15:35:00.000-07:00

2006-05-18T15:16:00.000-07:00

May 18, 2006...
It still hasnt hit me. I've started to pack some of my stuff away.. old photos and concert ticket stubs, cd's and books...i can feel the fear, the anxiety and the sadness of leaving sf start to bubble up inside of me. My casa is quiet and warm, I will miss the comforting feeling it has given me for the past 4 years. So much has happened here. I have lived more here than anywhere else. I learned to be independent here with Jill, when we first moved into our very own apartment. Countless conversations over morning coffee or happy hour, so many movies watched on the pink couch, cuddled under blankets... our sunday walks to the park, sharing smoke breaks on our deck... Then Haley and her undeniable warmness, always with candles burning...so many nights of laughter and playing gin and coming home to fabulous dinners and drinking wine. So many tears dropped, open hearts; shared and exposed... This has also been the Maru hotel- her company on the weekends and hanging with her and ale.. being silly and funny with them has truly brought a new light in my life- a carefree- free spirit energy that has given me wings when i was feeling most down... so many quarrels have also happened- insignificant petty ones, like fights over food spilled, and more significant, scarring ones, like the ones Ivan and i had on the stoop. Ivan and I started and ended our love while living here, even Tim's shadow still lurks behind the shell curtain he bought for me. All of that is coming down, wrapped up and packed away... It is here that I evolved into new ways of being and living... and now, I am ready to leave my nest up by the trees and rooftops, and continue to search for growth outside- of home/ comfort/ myself...I will always remember this as my first home, kind of like a first love, it holds countless conversations over meals; late night gatherings, and dancing in the living room under dim lights. Memories that are etched on the walls and in my heart. This has been my sanctuary, my safe haven, and now i'm leaping into the unkown- although i must admit i am scared, i welcome this new chapter of my life with open arms, open mind, open heart.

2006-05-18T15:09:00.000-07:00

My Peace Corps Assignment!

Country: Fiji

Program:Community Health Promotion Project

Job Title: Youth Health Education Officer

Dates of Service: August 2006- August 2008

* Please note: The views and opinions expressed in this blog are my own, and do not in any way, represent the views and opinions of Peace Corps or the United States Government.