I bought a ghetto blaster to replace my ipod... oh the joy, sweet sweet music in my ears... It's a small am/fm radio that looks like it came right out of the 80's. The good thing is that they play lots and lots of Reggae here and that aint bad.. There's something about islands and Bob Marley and the Eagles.. they love it! and i love them, so it works out great. Fijian music is also not half bad, so in that regard, life is definately better. The pitter patter of mice still resonates in my room, but I've learned to block out the noises so i sleep a lot better now. My encounters with flying cockraoches have also diminished... I think it's too cold for them to come out of whatever dark holes they crawl out of (after all, it is winter here in fiji). So on that note- i'm doing a lot better. Here is a piece of something I wrote in my journal:
June 21, 2006
Today felt like Christmas. Definately one of the best days so far in Saweni. I got 2 letters and a care package. Got a letter and care package from mami. She sent me coffee and sour icebreakers... It's crazy how much meaning little things can have... just to smell the coffee brought me so much joy... and the letter from maru- a 5 page typed letter. It made me so happy to hold it and read it and laugh.. It was as if she was here in person. What a wonderful feeling to receive a tangible piece of mail, there's something about the ritual of opening the envelope, in my case it was more like a kid on christmas, tearing at the paper- hungry to reveal what was inside...
Anyhow- thought i'd share that....
Last weekend we went to Koroyanitu National Park.. up in the mountains. It was great! We spent the night at a place called Abaca Eco Lodge, just east of where we are staying now. The whole Health group went up there, along with our Tech trainer Nani, She is a big jolly Fijian lady, with the most contagious laughter I' have ever had teh pleasure of hearing. She let us bring wine, and we cooked stir fried rice with broccoli and chicken.. (not currified! woooohooo!!) There was no elecrticity up there or running water, but the stars were unbelievable. I sat on the roof of the car with some of my new friends and stared up at the sky and counted shooting stars... Later, we drank kava (or grog or yangona as us "locals" call it :) In the morning we woke up at 6 am and headed out for a hike on a tropical rainforrest trail... I had my tennis shoes packed in Suva, so I hiked in my tevas. yes, I said it, teva's.. I know you're laughing maru- stop it. hahahaha... anyhow- i definately don't recommend hiking in teva's.. i ate dirt a couple of times but it was well worth it. The views were spectacular, tropical forrest, mountains and ocean for miles and miles, I wish i had pictures to show you, i'll upload them soon. After the hike we found a swimming hole, next to a waterfall. The water was freezing but those of you who know me - KNOW that i of course had to jump off the rocks and test the waters out for myself. So that's what i did. I had to work my way up to jumping from the highest rocks, but it was an adrenaline rush and the water- although freezing, felt wonderful after that long two hour hike....
It was by far one of the most memorable days in Fiji thus far.
So yes, I have my bad days here in fiji, At times I get lonely and homesick and just plain sick, but for the most part, I am happy, and i feel blessed to have this opportunity and be able to live out this experience in Fiji of all places.
Someone once said to me- "I hope you find whatever it is you set out to find in Fiji"- The truth is... I don't know what that is exactly, if the reason why I am here is to "find" something, but while reading the other night i encountered this quote by Sabrina Ward Harrison... She says: "I believe we must create what we most need to find". I find such wisdom in that, and hope to stick to my convictions, set up my goals, live my own experiences and whatever comes of that, is good enough for me.

My ipod broke. I got the little man with the x's for eyes and an exclamation mark. DAMNIT! For those of you who know me well, you can probably picture my reaction when i got the little man of death on my ipod screen. I cried myslef to sleep that night. cheesy, pathetic maybe, but true. Anyhow- it's like my dad says.. I'm down to the basics now... I came into town today to try and find a discman... $160 fijian dollars! hell no, not on a PC salary. So it looks like I'll be drowining in my silence until I can find a small (and cheap) plug in AM/FM radio to listen to... At least they play a lot of reggae/ island music, so i'll be fine for a while.
On a different, more important note: I'm starting to get adjusted to my new host family, although sometimes I feel like I'm more of an income-generating project as opposed to "a part of the family". Being in Fiji and living with an Indo-Fijian family is a strange but unique experience. According to my host mom Fijians are to blame for everything. There is so much resentment there, i guess i can understand why, Indo-Fijians make up 45% of the population in Fiji and still, they are not allowed to own land. Even if at one point they owned land, like in Shobna's (my host mom) case- they owned the house and sugarcane plantation around their house for 55 years, but after the coup they had to hand over the land to the fijians and start a lease, in which they pay a monthly stipend to their Fijian landlord. They have a lease for 45 more years. Many Indo-Fijians are emigrating and moving to Australia and New Zealand in search of better lives. Scholarships are also not given to Indo Fijian students and are only available for Fijian students. I went off on a tangent there- anyway.. yes, Shobna always warns me to stay away from the Fijians, and then we have the Fijians who blame the Indo-Fijians for everything. It's a lose-lose situation. I don't take sides, nor would I ever want to. People are people and so far I've met some pretty wonderful individuals here in fiji, despite their race or creed.
We had water safety day yesterday. It was the first time i was in the ocean in Fiji. The water was like bath water. 80 degrees, under the blaring sun... it was so great to be out at sea. We took a boat out into the ocean and swam around for a bit too. The tricky part is trying to get back on the boat when you're way out in the ocean. The water definatley helped my spirits, it was as if i was literally washing away my anxieties and frustrations. I slept like a baby last night. No music to fall asleep to, but had some beers with a couple of volunteers who live nearby, that definately contributed to a great night's sleep.
Today i made brakfast for my host family. Tuna sandwiches and coffee... not much else in the pantry. Shobna, the girls and I went to cut some sugarcane with a machete... Shobna's pretty tough, she was out there whacking away. We sat under the mango tree in front of their house and ate some sugarcane and mangos... yummmm... Tomorrow I'm going fishing with another volunteer and her host family, I'm really looking forward to another day out by the sea.

note: It's really hard to upload photos on these computers. I've been on this computer for two hours now and I was only able to upload the one photo. Still on the lookout for a faster connection.

Internet access is very limited around these parts.... my apologies for not updating sooner,
one seems to have more hours in a day living on an island... or maybe it's just that the days seem longer because things move slower? i feel like my days here are endless, no communication, no tv in english, no way really to pass the time, just do the work and live minute by minute.. I make it sound bad, it really isnt that bad. (except of course for the mice and flying cockroaches and my feet and legs which now resemble bubble wrap because of all the mosquito bites i've been getting)
I'm usually up between 5:30 - 6:00 AM, I help Shobna make Roti, and pack lunches for the girls, which includes roti and curry. then we have language class with a horrible language instructor, Kamlesh, who hasn't really taught us anything, except how to say our names and count to 10. After lunch we meet at a different village which we rotate depending on the day, and meet with the entire health group. we go up until 4-5 sometimes 6 and then it's going home to a cold shower and dinner. curry. That's all we eat, everyday, morning noon and night... curry for breakfast lunch and dinner. Hindu's call everything curry. it's mostly veggies stirfried in some oil and masala powder, or fish curry (which is actually good, except when it comes out of a can.) I never thought i'd say this, but indian food?... not a big fan anymore. Shobna is good about picking up signs though. the other day i mentioned to her how much i miss salads and she came home yesterday with a bag of lettuce, tomatoes and cucumbers... i had salad for dinner last night and salad for lunch today. dressing would have been awesome! nonetheless, it was a good break from curry roti and puri. Anyhow- I'm usually in bed by 9 pm, exhausted from trying to absorb as much information as possible, exhausted from the frustration, miscommunication and heat. Oh, and speaking of frustration- i should mention that the misunderstanding about my room got cleared up, so i now have my own room, no door that closes all the way, but i have my own room now and that makes a huge difference.
We came into town today, the Saweni 6. That's the name i gave myslef and the 5 other volunteers that live in the Indian settlement(Saweni) with me. I needed to stock up on some fruit and other food items other than curry. so I took advantage to update this thing.... I still havent found a place to upload my photos and i'm afraid i won't be able to until we get to suva. (which isn't for another 5 weeks!) but i'm on the lookout for high speed internet.
I'm looking forward to friday, we have water safety day.. woohooo! so it will be the first time i actually get in the ocean in Fiji! very excited about that. and the following week after that we have an Eco-tourism trip, which is an overnight stay with the entire group of volunteers, both health and environment.. that should be fun too. We are now down to 30 volunteers, from the 32 that came to Fiji... scary thought, to think that it could be any one of us, to get fed up, tired, homesick, or whatever the reason may be, reason big enough to want to quit and go home. It's scary to think that i might be next, i doubt it, but you just never know...
anyhow, teh sun is going down and it's starting to get dark. i'm not allowed out of my village after dark, so i must go now, but i'll try to upload photos and write more this weekend. sending you all un abrazo lleno de abrazos to you all.

Kaunchi means "what?" in Hindi. I've been saying it a lot for the past day and a half.
Yesterday morning we arrived at our host families house. My host family are Roti Indians, the Prasad's. Shobna Prasad, my amma, (means mom) and mi jiji's (means sisters) are Shinal (12), Aju, (9) and Simran (7). Aji, (the grandma) also lives in the house with them. The dad is working as a truck driver in New Zealand and Shobna and the girls plan to join him in a few months.
I must say the experience is overwhelming. First of all, there was sort of a confusion with the housing situation. During orientation they repeated and re-iterated that we would be getting our own rooms, that the rooms would have a door and a lock.
Well.. my experience so far has been quite interesting becuase of this confusion. When i got to the house, Shobna and the girls led me to the room I would be staying in. The room has two beds. Shobna and two of the girls sleep in one bed, and I was to sleep in the other bed. "Is this ok?" Shobna asks.... hmmmm. well, in my head i'm thinking, um, no, this is absolutely not ok, but of course i say, yes, yes, its fine. I don't want to seem rude and ungrateful for their hospitality, but now i am just feeling frustrated about the mishap and when i do bring it up to the PC staff, I don't want to make it seem as if though I was unhappy with my family, or that if PC tells my family something that they would get in trouble for not following protocol, or worst yet, that they would end up giving me Aji's room and that they all cram themselves in the one room next to mine, while i am all spread out all american and alone in my own room. I'm feeling so frustrated about this and i really don't want to have to deal with it, but 10 weeks is a long time and eventually i'm going to need my privacy. I'll bring it up on HUB day on tuesday.
Ok, so back to the experience- I'm sitting on the bed, and they all start bombarding me with questions... how is my family? where do i come from? what is my sign and all of my sisters and brothers signs... do i have a boyfriend? would i marry an indian boy? do i want to try on a sari? Hindi people have no sense of privacy. Shobna changed right in front of me after her shower (-which by the way is freezing cold water- so we take our baths in the afternoon when it's really hot). I had to ask the girls to leave in order for me to change... even when i did, i could hear them behind the door ( the door also does not close all the way) yes, my own room and a door that closes would be nice.) The girls follow me around everywhere, They are beautiful girls, with big black eyes and huge smiles... i'll post pictures next time. They danced in the living room for me, and they played with my camera, were fascinated with my ipod... little simran is especially attached to me. she holds my and and brushes my hair and stares at me while i'm sitting down, she says- you are so beautiful... ahhh. i say no- you are the one that's beautiful... its so cute.
What else? I ate really good fish curry, the girls either stand and eat or sit on the counter and eat. Shobna handed me a plate or baat (rice) and curry and said here, eat. OK... i didn't have a fork, so i didn't start eating.. again she asks.. is this ok? i'm like- yeah, sure.. and then i see the girls start eating with their hands... so i started eating with my hands.. they all laughed at me... I think i'm going to get a lot of laughs during these next 10 weeks. a lot of mistakes to be made and a lot, a lot, to learn. They are taking me to a wedding next week, so it'll be real interesting.. i'm very excited about that. And also- they said they would take me to see saweni beach next week.. which i'm really excited about because so far i havent seen the beach, and i am dying to just stick my feet in the sand.
Today we came into town to go to the movies. The girls and I went to see x-men and shobna and her friend are watching a hindi movie... which explains why i've had the time to write... i think that sitting here writing, has been the most time i've spent alone since i got to the Prasad's house.... ok, so the girls were lingering over me curious as to what i'm writing... so i must go. i'm trying hard to compromise. i'm trying real hard.

We arrived in Nadi yesterday morning at 3 AM. We got off the plane to the sounds of Fijian men playing guitar and ukaleleis (spelling?) and singing in Fijian. Even at 3 AM it was so surreal! Oghale, our country director was waiting for us, along with some of the PC staff and even some current volunteers were at the airport to greet us. I couldnt believe it, it was 3 am and the volunteers and staff were all at the airport just there to welcome us. we were all jet lagged, of course, but excited, at least i know i was... still am, i still can't believe i'm here.
so far the days have been jam- packed. Although we only arrived yesterday early morning, we had to be up at and at it at 11 am and ready for meeting after meeting after lecture after introduction... The good thing about Fijians is that they are very laid back, and FRIENDLY! they are alwasy laughing and cracking jokes. it's great. So anyhow- after our meetings and PST (pre service training) orientation we had our first KAVA ceremony! They gave us sulu's to wear around our waists and they welcomed us as trainees. men sit cross legged and women sit with their legs to the side (kind of uncomfortable, it'll definately take some getting used to). There i s absolutely NO talking during the ceremony. They talk in Fijian, which I couldnt uderstand a word of, all i heard was "Peace Corps" interlaced with Fijian that i could not grasp for the life of me.
Matty was right. They do the whole clapping thing. First they offer you the bowl of Kava and you accept by clapping your hands. then you say Bula, and you drink the whole thing... no sipping. then you give the bowl back and clap 3 times. It was a very interesting experience to say the least. The kava tasted kind of strange. definately not like anything i've ever tasted before... it numbs your tongue for a bit, but it was definately not as bad as i had expected it to be, of course i heard from someone that they were easing us into it, and they had diluted the kava so we could drink it... anyhow- there is another long day ahead of us tomorrow, and i must go because i am getting killed by mosquitoes.